Writing All My Wrongs

Blinking Lights and Intimate Things

2011-08-18T15:13:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I've written anything. There are a few reasons for that. I'm not really here to list them. When I first started blogging, I did it because I thought I had something significant to say. I thought that my words, if chosen carefully, could possibly move someone, or maybe some mountains or something beautiful like that. But since then, I've realized that's not the case. Anyways, for the (very) few of you who have wondered what I've been doing, I suppose this is for you.

For a few brief moments, somewhere between E. 4th Street and Rye Beach Road, all the calculations, all the rules, and all the precision of my life faded away in an instant. It's been a very long summer.

I'll never forget the first time that I ever saw you. I'll never be able to explain it, but in that moment I knew that I wanted to know everything about you. Getting to know you was the longest tug-of-war I've ever played, but something about you reminded me of that feeling where your heart feels like it's beating outside of it's ribcage. Vulnerability isn't something that I'm good at, but you were always worth the risk.

I'll never know enough about you. I want to know how many scars you have, and memorize the shape of your tongue. I want to climb the curve in your lower back and count your vertebrae, your ribs, your fingers, and your goosebumps. I want to be fluent in your body language. I want you, entire.

If I've learned anything at all this summer, it's that love is not a feeling - it's an ability. Everything falls apart, no exceptions. I try really hard to be thankful for the cracks because they shine light on the places you're able to grow and overcome. But right now I'm stuck in a really terrible place because I don't know if I should move on. I know that it's never wrong to move forward. I love you so much and I am so afraid that you'll reach out to me once I'm already gone, or at least on my way. But I know that I don't want to move backwards.

So just like our first round of tug-of-war, I'll start a new game - limbo, where I sit in an empty apartment doing everything I can to keep my mind from wandering to you with a slight hope in the back of my mind that somehow you'll face down whatever it is you're running from and find the words to make all of this okay.

Whatever happens, I'll always be grateful for everything that we learned, felt, and experienced together all of these years. I love you. Thank you for being.

Dear Whaler,

2011-07-16T12:13:00.000-07:00

I want to start this letter by saying I'm sorry. To call me an unfit parent would be a little bit of an understatement, but I want to let you know that if it depended solely upon love and care, you would've lived to be the oldest goldfish in the world.

I woke up this morning at 6:33 and saw that you had passed. It had been a long time since I cried as hard as I did in that moment. I somewhat expected it, I knew you were struggling. Last night when I came home, your tank water was tinted yellow and I had noticed that you weren't swimming around with the same wonderment as usual. Yesterday morning I even had a hard time getting you to eat your goldfish flakes. When I saw that you were sick, I did everything I could. I cleaned every square inch of your tank, gave you fresh water, and did hours of research to figure out what could be wrong. I know that it doesn't mean much now, but I really did try. I know it wasn't enough and I'm sorry.

I'm so proud of everything that you became. All of my friends told me about how their fish had passed after having them for a few hours or days and how unreliable they were. But you were a little fighter. I'll never forget the first morning I had you, you scared me to death. I woke up and thought that you had somehow escaped your tank or been kidnapped, but you were just hiding in your Squidward house. It was always your favorite place. I'm going to miss sharing my lunch with you every day. I don't know how I'm going to manage to eat without you, honestly. My heart is entirely broken and it's hard for me to even throw these words together because I know you deserve better. I really hope that you didn't suffer, and that you were a happy goldfish because you made me the happiest boy in the world. I'll never forget, or replace you.

I love you, buddy. Just keep swimming.

Gloop.

Gay Boy Problems

2011-07-07T15:30:00.000-07:00

Being an openly gay man living in a white picket fence small town, I get asked a lot of questions. Questions about my sex life, my favorite designers, who I'm voting for on this season's American Idol, about my coming out story - but my favorite question of all is undoubtably "what made you decide to be gay?" Before I divulge my endless rant of an answer whole heartedly, I think it's important to discuss some of the inconveniences my "lifestyle" entails.

This afternoon I decided to ride my bike to our neighborhood coffee shop to sit down with an iced soy latte and write about how I've spent my summer. On my way, some anonymous douchebag opened his van door, held onto his seatbelt handles while dangling his entire body outside of a vehicle moving at sixty miles per hour just to yell "faggot" in my general direction. Two days before that, a group of anonymous douchebags made a desperate attempt to run Breezy (my outdated blue bicycle) and I off the road, which ended with a face plant in an unexpecting lawn, where I spent the remainder of the night picking pieces of gravel out of the fresh scrapes on my knees.

It seems as though the widespread increase of the general acceptance of the gay community as a whole has resulted in an increase in hostility towards the community in smaller cities. This makes it increasingly difficult for small-town gay guys to meet other small-town gay guys, which has resulted in the idea that 'liking' someone's profile picture on Facebook is an acceptable form of foreplay. This has also introduced the concept of and widespread utilization of online dating profiles within the gay community. Surprisingly, my personality and overall package doesn't summarize well.

Chad Hensley - 21, scruffy. V.I.P. member of the bow-tie of the month club. Hobbies include waiting for you not to call and drinking enough to make my liver file for domestic abuse.

And then if I somehow manage to entice a gentleman with my snake charming abilities, I get to answer my second favorite question - "so, who is the boy and who is the girl in your relationship?" Asking a gay couple who's the "boy" and who's the "girl" in a relationship is like walking into a Chinese restaurant and asking which chopstick is the fork and which is the spoon. The stereotypes that define the gay community within our society are absolutely ridiculous. Yes, I am gay. No, I don't like Glee. I actually think it's one of the worst television shows ever produced. I think that Lady Gaga needs to learn the difference between "standing up for the gay community' and self-promotion. And I think that a majority of the community needs to learn that quiet, confident, and content is just as valid as out, loud, and proud.

After dealing with the fact that I'll probably be single forever and being unsatisfied with the picture mainstream society has painted of me, I get to wake up and remember that I have to work and pay taxes under a government that views me as a second class citizen. My sexual orientation denies me the right of marriage, donating blood, and openly serving in the military. (Yes, I know that DADT was repealed. It hasn't taken effect yet.)

I try to avoid cursing in most of my blog entries because I think there are more effective ways to articulate a point of view, but why the FUCK would I, or anyone else for that matter, choose to be gay? Unless you're some sort of masochist who enjoys dealing with harassment from strangers on a day-to-day basis, the "validated" unequal treatment from our own government, trying to find out what guys you can hit on without being decked, AND having to wait (at least) two years between Britney Spears' album releases, I'm going to have to say no - it's not a choice.

An early edition of Playboy magazine contained a short story about straight men being persecuted in a world where homosexuality was the norm. After receiving angry letters, Hefner wrote in response that if it was wrong to persecute heterosexuals in a homosexual society, then the reverse was wrong too. And if I had to produce a response to the question "why did you decide to be gay," it would consist only of five words:

Because guys are fucking hot.

Stay fresh, kiddos.

The Angry Alligator - Things That Make Me Mad

2011-06-30T15:37:00.000-07:00

I like to consider myself a pretty reasonable person (even though if you ask anyone who knows me for a list of words that describe me, the last they'd choose is 'rational.') With that being said, I'm generally a pretty happy person. But the past couple days there have been a few things that have been building on my shoulders and before I knew it, I woke up this morning with a burning ball of anger inside of me I couldn't seem to shake. Worse than any case of morning breath, bed hair, or eye boogers.

So I ran. I put in my headphones and ran as hard and long as I could run. A friend told me a long time ago that if I run, to make sure I was always running towards something - never away. So out of frustration and exhaustion, I made a list of the things that piss me off.

Distance.
Roadblocks.
Being seen by my government as a second class citizen.
Setbacks.
Minimum wage.
Speed limits.
My GPA and the deceasing probability that it will ever rise.
Potential - particularly the large part of it that's wasted.
Locking myself out of my apartment.
That horrible moment where your headphones won't play your music any louder.
Waiting for someone to text you back.
When the laundry eats one of your lucky socks.
Credit card bills. Ultimate boner dethroner.
People that take advantage of other people.
Bathrooms that have automatic sinks and hand dryers.
Biting into a burrito and having all of the insides fall out of the bottom.

I spend a lot of time in Barnes and Noble and frequently wander over to the self-help section, and the books they sell have basically taught me that anger is an emotion that should be suppressed and/or cured. If you spend twenty five dollars and thirty seven cents on a hardcover book with a glossy cover you can learn how to "overcome anger in six easy steps." Maybe I'm naive, I mean, I never wrote a book or anything, but I don't think it's that easy. And even if it is that easy, why do we waste so much time, energy, and money suppressing something everyone feels? Why is there always so much backlash to expressing a feeling? When did the human race get so scared, shallow, and medicated?

Fact; all emotional pain lasts twelve minutes. Anything longer than that is self-inflicted.

Emotions are nothing more than chemical reactions. Without the dark, there is no light. Without the rust, there is no polish. I like to think of emotions as waves - some of them angry, some peaceful - crashing over your existence one after the other. We watch them come and disappear in the distance in a vast ocean that's too big and beautiful for our fragile minds to comprehend. We can't stop them, but we can choose which ones to surf.

Don't worry, be happy - and if you're not happy, don't worry. Worrying is stupid. It's like walking around on a beautiful sunny day under an open umbrella waiting for it to rain. Even if it does rain, it will pass. Stay fresh, kiddos.

Jellyfish Fields

2011-06-26T20:03:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago I decided to call in sick from all of my big boy responsibility and run away to Chicago to celebrate my friend Aaron's twenty third birthday. It wasn't my first trip to the city, but every passing minute in Chicago presents a chance to completely lose yourself in a brand new experience. On average, people squander forty days annually compensating for the things that they've forgotten. I don't think I'll forget a single breath of my two days in Chicago this summer.

Like most tourists, we spent most of our time cluelessly wandering around the city looking for exhibits or attractions that weren't located anywhere near where we thought they were. I found my home away from home at the Shedd Aquarium's Jellies Exhibit. Everything I knew about jellyfish beforehand was a direct product of something I saw on an episode Spongebob Squarepants. I never could conceptualize how brilliantly beautiful the creatures were until I witnessed them myself. There's something that's simple, yet complex about a jellyfish- a body without bones, pulsing without a heartbeat.

I learned a lot I didn't know, too. Their bodies are 95% water and their feeding arms can grow up to eight feet long. The smallest jellyfish could nuzzle up into your contact lens effortlessly while the biggest would have a hard time squeezing into a minivan. Jellyfish can drift with the ocean's current and travel thousands of miles. The sting of a moon jelly (the glowing blue guys below this paragraph) is not harmful to humans. The umbrella jelly's mouth has four lips, and is able to swing it's mouth around to it's tentacles to eat it's dinner. Larger spotted jellyfish have small fishies living around the inside of their bells for protection against larger predators. The way they move so effortlessly, yet so precise is completely hypnotizing. If nothing else, I learned that there are two places I belong in this world - bikini bottom, or lost somewhere deep inside of a big city aquarium.

Although I loved spending the afternoon in the Adler Planetarium, giving my credit cards a good work out on Michigan Avenue, and frequently refueling on iced espresso at coffee shops (which are conveniently located on every corner,) my favorite moments were the quiet ones spent doing nothing in particular besides exchanging stupid little words or substituting my shoulder for a rest area when a certain someone got too tired to keep his head up on his own. Sneaking around the city long after the sun had said goodnight to eat cheesecake and explore unknown territory meant more than my awkward words could ever possibly assign meaning to.

I don't know if it's because we went thirty six hours without sleep, or because we had waited years for that moment - but Thursday night was the most gorgeous sleep I have ever had. I found myself at the edge of something beautiful and am entirely grateful for being lucky enough to experience it with someone I love.

Dear Mister Aaron Gipson,

Even though you're old, fart in your sleep, and buy Amtrak tickets for the wrong month, I love you. Thank you for being my puzzle piece. I'll see you soon.

Yours,

Chad Wuzzy (or Woozie, whichever you prefer.)

Dear Pluto,

2011-06-09T17:45:00.000-07:00

As a kid I was always fascinated by astronomy. I made countless models of the solar system using string, hangers, styrofoam, and paint. I bought cheap packs of glow in the dark stars and created my own galaxies on my bedroom ceiling. Every summer I begged my parents to send me to space camp. Even today I spend a lot of time hanging out in planetariums trying to discover things I didn't know before, for example;

The sun makes up 99.8 percent of the solar system.
Mercury's year last one and a half Earth days.
Venus spins backwards, and no one knows why.
Mars has two polar ice caps.
Jupiter has storms that are big enough to swallow the Earth twice.
Saturn has fifty seven moons.
Uranus is the first planet to be discovered by telescope.
Neptune is the coolest place in the entire solar system.
Pluto takes two hundred and forty eight years to complete it's orbit around the sun.

My favorite planet has always been Pluto. There's something so humble about it. Pluto held the title of smallest planet in the solar system before a group of scientists and astronomers revoked it's membership card. Maybe it's because I always root for the underdog, but I took it personally when a bunch of ordinary guys with phD's decided Pluto didn't have what it takes to sit with the cool kids anymore. You'll always be my favorite planet, buddy.

Although I don't agree with the dethroning of Pluto, (I know it happened years ago, and yes, I am still upset about it), it serves as a humble reminder that even the world's most celebrated scientists are beginners. We're always discovering new exceptions to the rules we thought were carved in pavement and learning that something new always exists outside the boundaries we've yet to explore.

Webster defines the word beginner as one who is just starting to learn or do something; a novice. A beginner's mind is a brilliant place to come from, where you can find worlds of unexplored possibility and after all, beginners are always granted permission to fail.

When I was younger I wanted to be an astronaut. I've also considered interior decorating, translating foreign language for the United Nations, and dedicating the first five post high school years of my life to the Peace Corps before realizing that I didn't want to do any of those things, I wanted to write about doing those things. I want to be a journalist and in a cliche Hallmark card type of way, I know it's what I'm supposed to do. And to achieve this , I spend thousands of dollars on classes, dedicate hours upon hours studying different newspapers and magazines, and trying to absorb all of the knowledge I can because I know that I am just a beginner.

I'm not really a 'professional' at anything. As Einstein would say, "I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious." I'm trying on a lot of new hats this summer. I might not be Rachel Ray, but I'm learning my way around a kitchen one meal at a time. My hands might be awkward and clumsy but one chord at a time my ukelele plucking is sounding a little bit more like music. I'm not really good at being boyfriend material, (if this blog serves any purpose it's to showcase that I'm really just a mess trying to put together pretty words), but I can try.

It's okay, Pluto. I'm not a planet either.

Stay fresh.

The Periodic Table of Elephants

2011-05-21T22:21:00.000-07:00

The other day, my smartest friend told me something that I'll never forget; "that which we manifest is before us." We are the creators of our own destiny, be it through intention or ignorance, our successes and our failures have been brought on by none other than ourselves. Apparently the world is ending in a few hours. I usually take pride in remaining indifferent to scare tactics proposed by conservatives, but if the Earth stopped spinning tonight, I can't help but feel like I'd have a little bit of unfinished business.

I've learned a lot this summer. I've learned that giraffes usually sleep anywhere between ten minutes and two hours a day, much like my sleep schedule during the school year. However, much like my summer sleep schedule, a koala can sleep up to fourteen hours a day. I learned that although kangaroos can travel up to forty miles per hour, they can't hop backwards. (No regrets.) I learned that a zebra's stripes are much like a human's fingerprint and are completely unique for every zebra. I learend that even though they have a reputation for being destructive monsters, dinosaurs are pretty careful beings and walk on their tip-toes.

I learned that 45.2% of people go to the bathroom in the shower. I learned that every three minutes, someone reports seeing a UFO. I learned that the plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. (Thanks, Logan.) I learned that 24% of front laws have some sort of ornament in them. I learned that it's scientifically proven that a man's beards grow faster when he is expecting sex. I learned that if Tommy Pickles (the Rugrat) were a real boy, he'd be turning 21 this year. I learned that in Israel, you can't ride a bicycle without a license, and in Australia, only liscenced electricians may change lightbulbs. I learned that the little circles of paper that are cut out after a paper has been punched by a hole puncher are ironically called "chad."

I've learned a lot about myself this summer. A few weeks ago I resolved to dedicate the time remaining in 2011 to strive, to seek, and not to yield. Every day comes with 86,400 seconds and even if these aren't my last few, I certainly don't have any extra to waste. I've learned the importance of discovering the difference between who you are, who you wish you were, and who everyone else wants you to be. There comes a time in every kid's life where reason begins to trump imagination, but a spark of it always lives inside of us and the past few weeks I've felt an overwhelming urge to embrace randomness and reject the ordinary.

For as long as I can remember I've been trying to piece together a plan to escape the monotony of small town life. My mom always told me that once I move away from the lake, I'd always miss it and I never really understood why, it's too gross to swim in and there's sure to be water in every city. But earlier today, I took a walk around my hometown and I realized how much the lake is a part of me. The crashing of the waves. The reflection of distant city lights on the water. The smell of fish and yesterday's campfire. The weathered graffiti on the pier's pavement. The pomegranate sky setting over the horizon. The humble reminder of how small and insignificant you really are. I considered the possibility that I might never see it again, whether it be due to a rapture at 6:00 or moving on to bigger and seemingly better things, and realized how much I'd miss it. Mom was right. This is a part of who I am just as much as my big city dreams, undying love for Britney Spears, and bow-tie collection.

I've been thinking about all of the things that would be left unsaid if for some reason tomorrow never began. I'm thankful for my hometown. I'm thankful for the setbacks. I'm thankful for the struggle. I'm thankful for you. I'm sorry it took me so long to see what's been here all along. Oh, and this.

To my cool Michigan guy,

I love you, to the farthest edge of the world. No obstacles. Alaska is waiting.

Gloop.

For the next few hours, I'm going to be playing this on repeat just in case. Happy judgement day. Stay fresh.

The Boy Who Fell From the Sky

2011-05-06T22:02:00.000-07:00

So, hi.

It’s been two months and nineteen days since my last post. A lot has happened since then.

I was promoted by Team Starbucks and I am now a big bad shift manager. Britney Spears released an incredible album that has been the soundtrack of my year so far. I attended my first Monster Ball. Taco Bell started following me on Twitter, and then I started a new diet. I joined a bowtie of the month club. I celebrated National Velociraptor Awareness Day. Osama Bin Laden is dead and gas prices and are higher than my GPA. I downloaded a ghost hunting / storm chaser app for my iPhone, and those, understandably, consume most of my time.

I’m not here to make excuses as to why I’ve been avoiding my blog. It’s my blog and I can write in it as much or as little as I want. But to be honest, I’ve been avoiding tackling this entry. I stopped writing because I felt like I had nothing to say. Now I’m struggling because I have too much to say and don’t know how to start.

I’m getting ready to leave Bowling Green for the summer. I’ve been busy packing up my apartment and wandering through the city for the last few times until Fall. Last night on my walk home from work I started to think about all of the roads I’ve traveled down. Some longer than others, some smoother than others. I think about all of the people I’ve loved and all of the conversations we’ve shared while wandering through abandoned parking lots while avoiding puddles of rain water. I love thinking about that time, but I don’t think there are words to describe the immensity of how much it hurts to remember.

As I walked, I thought about a question that I haven’t been able to shake from my mind. You know when you turn on the radio and that sappy Taylor Swift song comes on the radio, or you just happen to pass through the Lifetime Movie Network and some shitty Jennifer Anniston romantic-happily ever after-comedy is playing, and you start thinking about that one person? What do you do when you can’t have the one person that completes you like Woody completes Buzz? What if time or distance kept you apart from the one thing you want the most? Do you settle for second best? Do you invest all of your time and resources into trying to tear the walls down? Because I’ve spent years trying to break the chains that keep us apart and the pieces aren’t getting any weaker. We've tried replacing each other with jobs, projects and other boys that keep us busy but nothing seems to fit just like we fit.

I’ve learned that sometimes you don’t always leap because there might not be someone there to catch you. I always try to take calculated risks, but if this year has taught me anything, it’s that I fucking suck at math. I guess I’m going to have to get comfortable in limbo and wait to see what the next road leads to. The other day when I was wandering around the city listening to Adele feeling sorry for myself, I saw a baby crying. Seconds later she laughed. The beauty of life is that the rain never lasts.

I hope the living are safe.
I hope the missing are found.
I hope those lost are at peace.

Yours,
Chad Wuzzy

Packing for Mars

2011-02-14T13:24:00.000-08:00

We are always evolving into new, better versions of ourselves. The comforting news is that we are never finished. I like the idea of being unfinished. It always leaves room for change and improvement. We can develop new hobbies, meet new friends, try new things. Being unfinished means we can cry today, and next week or next year we won't cry for the same thing. Because we are constantly moving, evolving, and becoming better versions of ourselves.

That being said, I feel a little guilty for neglecting my blog the way I have lately. I've been writing in this journal since 2006. I was a junior in high school when I started, and I'm currently writing this in the middle of my junior year of college. It's safe to say I've changed a little since then. I'm not sure what I want to write about anymore or even if this is what I want to do at all. I've been thinking a lot about deleting this blog lately. Sometimes the people that we used to be don't agree with the people we become. Until I decide exactly where we're going from here, I figured I'd break the awkward silence with a list of the things that have been on my mind this February.

1.The other day I read an article about seahorses. I learned that when a seahorse finds a mate, they wrap their tails around each other so the tide doesn’t tear them apart. In that sense, they become one. If one of them dies, so does the other. My faith in the pursuit of love has been fully restored. Thank you.

2. The NOH8 Campaign is a photographic silent protest to support marriage equality organized by photographer Adam Bouska and his partner Jeff Parshley. There is nothing more rewarding in life than becoming an active part of the communities that you identify with. Thank you for fighting with me for all the right things.

3. I’m tired of rummaging for answers through pages of books written before my time. I’m tired of looking at yesterday and missing the things that used to be mine while losing sight of what’s mine now. Instead of being bitter about the love that’s come and gone, I’ll be thankful that this year I have actually have a valentine that’s not a douchebag. Instead of complaining about my heavy workload this semester, I’ll be thankful for the opportunity to learn and grow as an individual. Here’s to positivity, fresh starts, and gratitude.

4. According to a study done by Jeff Wysaski at Pleated Jeans, Ohio is the dorkiest state in the nation, which is a claim based on having the highest number of library visits per capita. Considering some other states are guilty of having the highest rates for bestiality, rape, identity theft, and gonorrhea, for the first time I’ve found myself a little proud of where I grew up.

5. Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time in planetariums. My favorite thing about outer space is that there’s always something that’s undiscovered. I spend most of my time alone lost somewhere in my mind, weightlessly wandering throughout the universe. I’ve learned that the sun produces so much energy that every second, the core releases the equivalent of 100 billion nuclear bombs. The universe is so vast that light from distant stars and galaxies takes so long to reach us that we are actually seeing objects as they appeared hundreds, thousands, or even millions of years ago; meaning every night when you look up at the sky, you're looking back in time. Oh, and those things that B.O.B. and Hayley Williams are so insistint on wishing upon? Most shooting stars are usually just tiny dust particles falling through our atmosphere from comets that pass through Earth's orbit. I’m completely enchanted by the sky, and if you need me, chances are I’ll be packing for mars.

Just in case you're anything like me and happen to feel a little lost lately, just remember that if you don't accomplish anything else today, at least you beat your personal record of number of days you've been alive. And on the bright side, only twenty four weeks until shark week. Stay fresh.

A Beautiful Mess

2011-01-22T13:34:00.000-08:00

The other day I read an article that said elephants are the only land-mammal that create tears when they're sad. Afterwards I nearly started crying in the middle of Caribou Coffee because I wondered if elephants could really feel what it's like to be heartbroken. And this is why I have such a passionate love/hate relationship with winter. I love starting snowball fights and building igloos. I love standing closer to the person beside you for warmth. I love the sound of snow crunching under your shoe as you walk on it, and I love how it glitters under street lights.

But for some reason, I always turn into an emotional piñata during the winter time. I'm not sure what triggers it but it seems as though the cold wind freezes the blood in my veins and I turn into a shell of who I am when the sun is shining. A funny thing happened on my way to work the other night that changed my perspective a little bit. I was staring up at the sky in wonderment of how beautiful the snow looked as it fell when I unknowingly stepped on a patch of ice on the sidewalk. You know the feeling; your heart skips a beat and you have a mini panic attack as you try to regain your balance. In that quick second, you know you're going to leave this situation with either a feeling of triumph, or one of defeat.

Much to my surprise, considering calling someone like me 'clumsy' is a bit of an understatement, I walked away from the ice patch without a scratch, feeling completely superior to the world around me. Obstacles? Challenges? Nothing can stand in my way. At least until I unknowingly found the second patch of ice on the sidewalk and took a tumble which resulted in a few bruises and an important little reminder from the universe that I am human. I an not invincible. I fall. I bruise. I hurt. I bleed. I need all of the feelings that are attached to winter just as much as I need the summer's sun.

We're meant to learn and evolve from everything that happens to us. Even from the things that seem meaningless. I learned a lot of the most important lessons in life from Disney movies. Toy Story reminds us that if we reach for the sky, anything is possible and everything is infinite. The Lion King teaches the science of hukuna matata. Finding Nemo helps us remember that even when things seem impossible, just keep swimming.

Messages The Universe is Whispering at Me Today
1. Buy slip resistant boots.
2. Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself.
3. Listen to more Joy Division and Modern English.
4. Stop saying "I wish" and start saying "I will."
5. Everything is going to be okay.

Even though it's only sixteen degrees today, the sun is shining and the ice is starting to melt. Maybe things will start to fall into place, and if not, Spring will be here soon enough. Here's to clear minds and open hearts. Stay fresh.

One Thousand Paper Cranes

2011-01-10T11:13:00.000-08:00

Earlier today I had lunch with my best friend in the entire world. She told me a really interesting story about how in Japan, there's an ancient belief that if someone is struggling and can't seem to find a resolution to their problem, you can fold one thousand origami paper cranes and your wish will come true. People often wish for better health, long lives, and unbroken hearts. I'm not one to endorse or promote urban legends and fairytales but I do believe in the universe and that if you introduce enough positive energy into it, you can achieve the impossible.

It's time for a little honesty. I've been a little heartbroken lately. Not the kind they sell Hallmark cards for. Not the kind you’d read about in a Nicholas Sparks book. Not the Sinead O'Connor music video kind or the Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercial type. It's the worst kind of pain a person could ever feel. It's when you're without that one person, and feeling like the smallest, least significant person in their world. It's feeling like you could pick up your phone to call that one person, but they probably wouldn't even hear the phone ring - and even if they did, there are no words you can possibly search for that hold enough meaning to make any sort of impact or undo any of the hurt that's been caused. It's living with the pain of knowing that things weren't always this way. It's searching for the courage to smile even though he's a world away finding it increasingly difficult to remember what my voice sounds like.

Once upon a time, I was everything to him and he saw me everywhere. The way the city lights shined at night reminded you of my smile, and the lyrics to the song that played in the background of the restaurant you ate at reminded you of the way you felt about me. It's a little like losing the most intense game of tug-of-war, and lying face down in a pool of shame and loneliness while that one person you'd do anything for pulls you through the mud. They're still holding the rope, whether they know it or not, and even though you're being pulled through the most excruciating pain known to mankind, you don't let go. You hold on tighter than ever and your hands start to burn and bleed and tear beyond what any band-aid could conceal, and you start to feel this sinking feeling of defeat every time you open your eyes in the morning. A feeling that will stay with you and weigh you down until you close your eyes at night. But even after you close your eyes, as tired and weak as this tug-of-war will make you, it turns you into a restless creature which becomes less relevant as the nights go by because even in dreams you're constantly reminded of how great yesterday was and the possibilities of how tomorrow might have been.

When you ask someone about love, they’ll tell you about heartbreak. When you ask someone about belonging, they’ll tell you what it’s like to feel excluded. But I know that without the cold you couldn't know the sun, and without the tears it'd never rust, and it takes that rust to have it polished. So for that, I dedicate this to you.

For Jimmy, who taught me how to define the word “love.”
For Jason, who helped me discover gratitude.
For Cesar, who gifted me the audacity to dream.

Vulnerability; it’s all about being able to say “I love you” first. It’s the willingness to do something you believe in even if there are no guarantees. Why is this so hard? Why do we fight against vulnerability when it’s completely essential in the pursuit of happiness? We are the most in debt, obese, addicted, and medicated generation in history. We use any means necessary to numb shame, fear, grief, disappointment, and other feelings that are possible side effects from being vulnerable. But when we numb these emotions, we’re also numbing the possibilities of joy, gratitude, happiness, and love that are constantly surrounding us.

Today I am thankful for knowing that I am wired for struggle and I am worthy of love and belonging. I am no longer playing a victim of a broken heart, because the pain is a humble reminder that I am not only alive, but I am human. There are an infinite number of masks that people put on everyday in order to hide the monsters that they really are. I’m taking off this mask and daring to let myself be seen. Here’s to taking baby steps and teaching myself how to do origami. Stay fresh. Be love.

Infinity and Beyond

2011-01-01T17:51:00.000-08:00

Oh, hey everyone. I just wanted to introduce you to my newest tattoo, infinity.

I've been a big fan of the infinity symbol ever since I first learned about it in my ninth grade Geometry class. A few years later, I learned about the concept of infinity in my college level Physics course. Last semester, I learned in a history class that in ancient India and Tibet, the symbol represented perfection, dualism, and unity.

On New Years Eve, a couple of my friends and I had a few drinks and decided to start the evening by getting tattoos. I chose to put the infinity symbol on my wrist as a sign of being limitless and living without boundary. I want to live and to love infinitely.

Every day 353,000 people are born and every day 146,000 people die. In 2010 alone, 52 millions cars were produced and 285 million computers were sold. Globally, we cut down 240 square acres of virgin forest every day. There are 1 billion malnourished people in the world and an equal billion who are obese. The past year was rough when it comes to global hardship and human suffering. We've experienced a worldwide economic recession, a devastating earthquake that took countless lives in Haiti, flash floods in Pakistan, massive volcano eruptions in Indonesia, and the worst oil spill in environmental history.

Here's to believing, and knowing, that even when things appear as though they will never improve, possibilities are endless and that there is light in even the darkest places in the universe. Live passionately. Love infinitely. Stay fresh.

1/1/11

2011-01-01T00:29:00.000-08:00

Recently a group of researchers from Northeastern and Harvard University conducted a study about the mood of United States citizens throughout the day based off of their Twitter updates. The study examines what times of the day people are happier, and which areas of the nation are less happy than the rest.

Whether you happen to fall on the happier side of the nation, or whether you find yourself feeling rather pessimistic about life most of the time, maybe the new year has a little bit of hope to offer you.

Today is 1-1-11, but if today doesn't seem to be as lucky as you had hoped it would be, don't worry. In ten days, it'll be 1-11-11. After ten months, it'll be 11-1-11, and if you're still not having the best day ever, just wait ten more days for 11-11-11.

Miracles happen to those who believe in them. I hope that every single one of your dreams come true. I'm spending the new year dreaming madly, amazingly, fantastically, and wonderfully of possibility. Dream without fear, love without limits. Stay fresh.

Everything is Static

2010-12-26T16:14:00.000-08:00

As the new year approaches, I've been feeling overwhelmed with all of the messages I want to send out into the universe before the year ends. This year I've learned that every exit is an entrance to somewhere new. Every morning presents an opportunity for a brand new start. Someone once told me that there are far better things ahead than anything we leave behind. The future holds so much more than the past. I am not defined by my setbacks or my mistakes, for it is only after disaster we can be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Nothing is static. Everything is evolving. Everything is falling apart.

I'm currently in the middle of Christmas vacation from school and work. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to have time to spend with my family and friends over the holidays. I've been keeping myself busy exploring Little Italy, riding sea monsters in the Merry-Go-Round Museum, and driving around at midnight looking at all of the houses in the city illuminated with Christmas lights. I want to thank everyone who has lifted me up throughout the mess that has been the past few weeks. You are an island of hope in an ocean of diharrea.

Life is a big question that even google can't answer. (And believe me, I've searched.) I've learned a lot about love and heartbreak this year. I've learned that the only way to find true, real happiness is to risk being completely cut open and dissected. Our real discoveries come from a place of hurt and chaos. This year I learned that when you begin to let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless. It doesn't have a resolution. The heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth is within you and how much space there is to occupy. And in the middle of the night, the answer to the big question hits you harder than Chris Brown; love is the answer. When you meet that one intoxicating person, you lose all track of time. The colors of the world intensify. You understand the meaning of words as never before. Live is vivid and love is real.

When you let love go, you're forced to learn a lot about loss and even more about change. I still have a fire in my fingers and in my heart that wants to believe in you. I want to remember the way your eyes burn when you look at me and remember why the world spins and atoms collide. I may be a dreamer, but I'm not a fool. I know that all changes, even the ones that are the most longed for, have their melancholy. What we leave behind is a part of who we are and everything that we have become. We must die in one life before we enter another. I want to recreate myself. I can spend all of my life letting the world tell me who I am; gay or straight, hero or victim, sane or crazy; but I want out of the labels. My life doesn't fit into a single word. My life is a story. I want to find something else unknowable, somewhere you can't locate on a map. I am unknown. I am undefined.

In 2011, I want to be committed I am twenty years old and I have never been in a completely faithful relationship. I change my mind more than most people change underwear. I've always thought that this was healthy, but the past year has shown me that there are many benefits from commitment. This past month, I participated in the 29 Day Giving Challenge, which is an African ritual to teach the lessons of scarcity, gratitude, and attachment. Most gifts were small, including leaving post-it notes with positive affirmations all around campus, donating my pink flamingo to a front lawn that needed it much more than mine did, offering free hugs and high fives to anyone who wanted them, and giving used books and toys to kids in need. I learned just how little effort it took for me to make someone else smile, and how easy maintaing what seemed to be a difficult commitment actually could be. I also committed to No Shave November, which is a feat I never thought I'd be able to accomplish, and learned that I look kind of alright with a beard.

I also committed to two political causes this year; repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell and the Bowling Green ONE Campaign. DADT was the policy that restricted any gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered person from serving in the military. This September, I made many calls to Ohio senators to ask for their support in repealing this policy and urged everyone I know to do the same. On December 22nd, Barack Obama officially signed the repeal and gay soldiers no longer need to conceal their sexual identities in order to serve in the military. The One Campaign was a group of volunteers working to pass two ordinances that would make discrimination illegal in the city of Bowling Green, and ensured that everyone is given equal access to employment, housing, and education. After many hours of debate, disagreement, and struggle, both ordinances passed and the city I live in is now one of equality.

In 2011, I commit to making a difference. I commit to walking with the dreamers. I commit to leaving the world better than when I found it. I commit to being and finding love. I commit to being undefined and I commit to staying fresh and encourage you to do the same. Happy new year.

With Love,

Chad Wuzzy

My December

2010-12-13T07:07:00.000-08:00

As of yesterday at 10:17 pm, I have successfully completed finals week, which marks the end of my fifth semester as a college student. It's been four of the hardest months I've ever faced. A few weeks ago, out of frustration, I updated my Facebook status with "I hate everything about the city of Bowling Green tonight. Fuck gravity, I want to fly." After countless sleepless nights and losing any time management skills I could have possibly acquired over the years, I had never felt so trapped.

The next afternoon, Trevor and I decided to order chinese food and watch lifetime movies all day. After digesting a years amount of vegetable fried rice, I opened my fortune cookie and suddenly remembered why I believe in the universe so much; it always has a sneaky way of relaying the messages that we need to hear the most.

This year, I commit entirely to trusting the universe. I'm dedicating 2011 to learning new things. To taking unexplored roads and not being afraid to get lost. I commit to trusting the ever-changing climate of my heart. I commit to knowing that it's necessary to have many experiences for the sake of feeling something, the sake of being challenged, and for the sake of being expressive. I commit to learning what I am capable of.

Within the next year, I resolve to;

Learn how to efficiently use chopsticks.
Listen to and trust all of the things the universe is telling me.
Travel outside of the country. Learn new languages. Try new food.
Teach myself how to play the ukulele.
Fall ridiculously, inconveniently, and entirely in love.
Replace my fear of the unknown with curiosity.
Live somewhere warm enough to grow an avocado tree.
Be love.
Keep my feet on the ground and my head in the stars.

I want to live like Ke$ha in 2011. I want to wake up every morning feeling like P. Diddy. I want to make your heart beat like an 808 drum. I want to let the animal inside of me out. I want to love what we are, not what we should be. I want to be starstruck with every part of this story. I want to throw fists full of glitter in the air every night and live every day like it's my last.

I am thankful for every lesson and obstacle 2010 has offered, but I am more than ready to see what the universe has in store for me in 2011. Stay fresh.

Gratefully yours,

Chad Wuzzy.

What's On Your Mind?

2010-12-09T00:14:00.000-08:00

Given that finals and the end of the semester are rapidly approaching, naturally I'm spending a lot more time on Facebook looking for some kind of alternative for studying and research papers. Every time I login, some mysterious person asks me the same question, What's on your mind?

Most of the time people answer this question by posting whatever song lyric might be stuck in their head, or throw together a quick one line itinerary of their plans for the day. I decided to take a break from studying for finals and the distractions that are attached to doing so by really answering the question at hand.

Life is on my mind. I read a blog post from mnmlst about needing less and living more. A lot of need is self created. In 2010, we live in a paradox. We have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more but have less. We have bigger houses but smaller families, with more conveniences, but less time. We have more knowledge but less judgment. We have more medicine, but less wellness. We have more experts, yet more problems. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, read too little, and pray too seldom. We've learned how to make a living but not a life. We've been all the way to the moon and back but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We've done larger things, but not better things. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

This makes me question what I need in life. What is life for? Lately life is for going on dates with all the wrong guys and for learning new words. Life is for christmas lights and conversations at the Carnivore Cafe over dessert and coffee. Life is for a little trial and a lot of error. The future belongs to the few of us still willing to get our hands dirty. I have a big box of band-aids and an entire bottle of passion fruit rum. I'm ready for whatever the sea throws at me.

Abraham Lincoln is on my mind. It seems as though Obama could really benefit from having a sidekick lately, and I think he'd be a good candidate for the position. There are a few sayings I like to live my life by, and five of them happen to come from Abraham.

Be excellent to each other.
Whatever you are, be a good one.
People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.
When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.
In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

Love is on my mind. One universe, nine planets, two hundred and four countries, eight hundred and nine islands, and seven seas. There are six billion people in the world and somehow we have such a hard time with letting one in, or letting one go. The human heart is a funny, reckless muscle. It's kind of bizarre how as humans, all we want is to feel love and acceptance, yet we build castle walls to keep ourselves from appearing vulnerable. We play games and search for ways to gain the upper hand in relationships when we're all playing for the same prize.

Love anything and your heart runs the risk of possibly being broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. (R.I.P. Frankie). Wrap it carefully with hobbies and little luxuries while avoiding all entangelemnts. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin you plan to bury your selfishness in. But in that casket, safe, dark, and airless, it will change. It will not be broken. It will become unbreakable and impenetrable. Do yourself a favor and drop your armor; let yourself be love, because I'm fairly certain there's someone who's dying for a chance to love you the same.

Family is on my mind. Everyone's definition of family is different. Even when the sea throws a wave at me I don't think I can handle, I practice gratitude in the midst of despair, which opens my eyes to the positive possibilities all around me. We all carry around these things inside of us that no one sees that hold us down like anchors. Ghosts and monsters live inside of us and try to eat us alive. But my beautiful friends and family have given me hope. Your suffering is mine, and my victory is yours. Thank you for being.

As you can see, pretty much everything unrelated to my college education finds space to occupy my mind during finals week. Wish me luck, I'll need it desperately. Stay fresh.

Britney Spears Changed My Life

2010-12-05T14:04:00.000-08:00

In 2010, starting at a young age, we are constantly surrounded by an array of doctors, teachers, specialists, and judges who are all eager to assign labels and to put forth their best effort to define who we are. All my life, I’ve been told that I am the wrong person. When I was young I was more interested in writing stories and finger painting than G.I. Joes. In high school, I opted out of football games and sports gatherings in favor of nights at home, getting lost somewhere inside my own world. My dad insisted that I “man up” and my mom begged that I try to be more social.

I was nine years old when I first heard “Baby One More Time.” Almost twelve years later, Britney Spears is still my favorite human being. I am eternally grateful for every gift she has given me. These gifts extend far beyond life anthems like “I’m A Slave 4 U” and “Gimme More.”

At seventeen, Britney Spears lived in a state of constant criticism for every decision she made, whether it concerned the content of her music, her taste in clothing, or the decisions she made in her personal life. And after twelve years, Britney Spears still encounters more criticism in one minute than most will have to face in their entire life. Not only did she survive, she defined the generation and still stands tall today, proud and confident from all of the things she has overcome.

The world has a funny way of putting you under a microscope waiting for you to show them the smallest glimpse of weakness, desperately awaiting the chance to tear you apart. Britney Spears taught me that I am enough. She taught me that I am free to create whatever I want to create, to love whoever I chose to love, and be whoever it is I want to be, and to never let anyone take it away from me. Britney Spears taught me to go through life like a karate kid, and that no matter how many people are trying to knock you down or how far off the track we might stray, life moves on. No matter how many times we stumble or who disagrees with it, life will move on quite beautifully.

It’s Britney, bitch. Stay fresh.

Breakfast With Buddha

2010-11-28T15:04:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when we decide to make a change, it's easy to interpret our unsettledness as unhappiness, and our unhappiness as a result of having made the wrong decision. Our mental and emotional states fluctuate madly when we make changes in our lives, and somedays we might feel brave enough to tightrope across New York City and other days we are too weak to clean our own teeth. This is natural. This is change.

I've been quietly struggling the past few weeks. I could sit here with a detailed map of events and try to pinpoint where my train derailed and why I feel so far off track, but this time I'd prefer a brand new start, rather than searching through crinkled pages with an eraser trying to correct my mistakes. This morning I sat down with a cup of coffee and had breakfast with a friend. I am by no means buddhist, but there are definitely aspects of his beliefs that speak volumes to where I am at the moment and how I got here.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.
I must be willing to let go of the life I've planned to make room for the life that is waiting for me.

A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker.
As I struggle to find a healthy balance between work, school, and some form of a personal life, I realize that I've lost focus. I'm in desperate need of a little prioritizing and a good night's sleep.

Chaos is inherent in all compounded things.
As human beings, we tend to run from chaos. I've learned to embrace it with open arms, brand new eyes, and a wildly beating heart. I'm ready to jump.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the only one who gets burned.
I'm tired of burning. I'm ready to forgive you. I'm ready to forgive myself.

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting.
Life is for deep kisses, strange adventures, Chinese food at midnight, and rambling conversations. I'm ready to get my hands dirty. I'm ready to do not only the things which I must, but the things I care about, learn how to use a semi-colon, and to accept that the path is not always straight. I'm ready to sing in the morning, clean my closets, read Aristotle, and generally live more.

Doubt everything. Find your own light.
For every decision you make, there are going to be a handful of loud voices telling you that you're making the wrong one. I've learned that some of the best times of my life were when I listened to the one that told me to do it anyway, and fuck what the other voices had to say. If that means opting for two hours of sleep on a school night and spending a fourth of my bank account on Black Friday, so be it. Life is short, and so is your penis. We might as well be thankful for what we have and take the occasional risk of someone thinking we're crazy.

Live generously. Love recklessly. Stay fresh.

Thank You, Universe. Gratitude A-Z

2010-11-27T09:32:00.000-08:00

The past few weeks I've been pretty wrapped up in the 29 Gift Challenge and No Shave November, but I believe nothing is more important than taking the time to express gratuity for the things you're thankful for in life. If I were a monster created by a mad scientist, my name would be Thankenstein. It's been a year of beautiful highs and monstrous lows, but I believe with every molecule of my body that we're all on the brink of something wonderful. I've learned a lot from 2010, most notably:

There's really only one way to learn how to do something; You have to do it.
Life doesn't have to fit neatly between the lines. Color it any way you want.
Enjoy life's detours.
Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. Take a risk. Fail. Start over again.

This Thanksgiving between baking my first tofurkey and getting drunk off Jose Cuervo at awkward family gatherings, I decided to challenge myself and find something to assign thanks to for every letter of the alphabet. I challenge you to do the same. Give thanks to the little things, the big things, and everything in between.

Avocados - Thank you for nutrition and for guacamole.

Britney Spears - You are my spirit animal.
Change - I fight, breathe, and live for you. I promise I'll make you possible.
Dinosaurs - For allowing me to follow in your massive prehistoric footprints.
Earth - For the dirt that lies beneath the path I travel on.
Fortune Cookies - Because everyone needs something to believe in.
Gaga - Mostly for the existence of "Bad Romance" and "Speechless."
Heartbreak - Because a broken heart means having the bravery to have loved at all.
Igloos - Because eskimos need love, too.
Jake Gyllenhaal - Thank you for being my boyfriend. I love you Jakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey.
Kelsey Hammond - You're my missing puzzle piece. Thank you for being.
Love - My heart beats for you.
Monsters - For hiding underneath my bed and reminding me I'm not invincible.
Nerds - For thick rimmed glasses and bow ties.
Outer Space - Thank you for filling me with wonderment and a sense of infinity.
Peacocks - Because in life, sometimes you have to take time to appreciate the beautiful things.
Quadratic Formula - For showing me that there are things in life I don't have to understand.
Raditude - An awesome state of mind and an incredible album by Weezer.
Starbucks - Thank you for starting my day wonderfully every morning.
Thunderstorms - For allowing me to dance in the rain whenever possible.
Umbrellas - For giving me shelter when the storm becomes a little too much to bare.
Vampire Weekend - Thank you for creating the soundtrack of my life.
Winter - For sweaters, fireplaces, snow, and cuddle forts.
Xylophones - Thank you for being a word that starts with X, and for whatever noise you make.
Yellow - For illuminating the world I live in.
Zombies - For giving me something to look forward to.

Let's hope the zombie apocalypse comes sooner rather than later, and that 2011 offers even more lessons of life, love, and gratitude. Live ever moment. Love beyond words. Stay fresh.

Kate Nash 'My Best Friend Is You' Tour

2010-11-12T21:14:00.000-08:00

This past Thursday, I spent the night exploring the city of Columbus, getting lost, eating cheap chinese food, and witnissing the brilliance of Kate Nash's My Best Friend is You Tour.

I've always been a big fan of witty singing/songwriting females, and it's no secret that I'm a sucker for british accents, so when I heard "Foundations" for the first time in 2008, it was love at first verse. For two years I had desperately hoped she'd find her way to Ohio, and after continually refreshing Ticketmaster's Kate Nash page, a tour date appeared. The show was everything I always imagined it'd be. If there is anything Kate Nash doesn't know how to do, it's disappoint.

For two hours, Ms. Made of Bricks used her fingers to dance across a piano covered in flickering lightbulbs on a stage decorated with lightning bolts, umbrellas, clouds, and pillows. My two favorites of the night were "Doo Wah Doo," the song she used to open the show, and "Merry Happy." But what shined even brighter than the lightbulbs on her piano or the spotlight drawing attention to the props she brought on stage, was the voice behind the microphone. Kate Nash is awkward. She finds a way to be quiet, outspoken, shy, flirtatious, empowering, and awkward all rolled up into one brilliantly assembled British burrito.

She stopped half way through the first verse of "I Hate Seagulls" to tell her audience a story. Apparently earlier that morning, she did a few interviews at local news stations to promote her show, and a reporter happened to notice that she had a scab on her knee. The reporter called her a "hot mess," which she found unsettling. "I'm not Lindsay Lohan," she joked, "I'm just clumsy."

If this is your first time hearing of her, let me formally introduce you to the wonderfully awkward powerhouse that is Kate Nash. She might be quiet, but she has an awful lot to say, and a beautiful way of saying it.

29 Day Challenge - A Month of Giving & Gratitude

2010-10-27T06:20:00.000-07:00

We all grow up with our own set of "shoulds" that restrain us as human beings. They act as the invisible rule book that contains the guidelines of how we conduct ourselves.

I should go to the gym more often.
I should study more for my exam in the morning.
I should save money instead of spending it.

Life is not a linear process. Things are messy. Plans change. You are not a bad person for listening to the little voice in the back of your head telling you to do something. Albert Einstein once said "life is like a bicycle; in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving." And sometimes it's okay if life doesn't necessarily have balance.

This month, I'm partaking in the 29 Day Giving Challenge. I'm giving one thing away for 29 days. It originated as an African ritual to teach the lesson of scarcity. Giving of any kind begins the process of change and moves us to remember that we are part of a much greater universe. Try giving away something that you thought you could never part with. What are you attached to?

I end most of my blogs with the phrase "stay fresh." As you may or may not know, this saying means quite a bit to me. I stress freshness because it implies seeing with new eyes, giving like you've never been taken from, and loving like you've never been hurt. Are you ready to let go of the conditions and "shoulds" you've been holding onto so desperately, and instead opt to stay fresh?

And always remember, it's alright if you choose the venti latte instead of the tall. And it's okay if you decide to stay up watching Jersey Shore reruns on MTV instead of studying for an exam or two. It happens to the best of us, and inevitably, life rolls on. Stay fresh.

What Are You Waiting For?

2010-10-18T20:20:00.000-07:00

Life is an echo; what you send out comes back. As I stumble around this new city that has welcomed my mess with open arms, I understand that it's important to begin each day like it's brand new. I am constantly under construction. It's only Tuesday, and I've already learned a ton about the world I live in without leaving my bedroom. Can you imagine what you'd find beyond your front door?

The energy used by the brain is enough to light a 25 watt lightbulb.

Your heart produces enough pressure to squirt blood up to 30 feet.

Any given nose is capable of remembering 50,000 scents.

The medical term for a broken heart is called 'takotsubo,' and according to recent studies, can be cured by any doctor.

It's possible to hiccup while you're asleep.

If you happen to live on Mars, every year is 687 days long.

On average, there are about 100 lightning strikes per second worldwide.

Pirates never really buried their treasure and were often offered workman's compensation.

The average zombie could out-dance most contestants on Dancing With The Stars. (Exhibit A and B.)

The average person spends five years waiting in line, six months at red lights, two years playing phone tag, and an entire year looking for things you've lost.

Now that you're aware of how much time you spend waiting for things that are out of your hands, what's holding you back? What are you waiting for? Dance. Explore. Dream.

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far it is possible to go." - T.S. Elliot

The Chicago Sometimes

2010-10-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

After years of listening to Kanye West and dreaming about what the city of Chicago was really like, I decided to throw out my schedule for a few days, call up a few of my best friends, and hop on a train at four in the morning to Illinois.

Chicago is a city filled with wonderment and adventure. When I was in high school, I imagined myself studying at Columbia in pursuit of becoming an established journalist at The Chicago Tribune or The Chicago Sun-Times. Somewhere over the years, my mind changed and so did my dream, but nevertheless, I was happy to finally have the chance to explore for a while.

The city opened my eyes to how important community is in our lives. In Ohio, I live in a college town filled with busy students that have part time jobs and overstuffed planners and most of the time don't even know their own neighbors. On Thursday night, my friends and I decided to get tattoos at Code of Conduct. The artists were all close to each other and worked together to create something bigger than themselves. Even the friends I had gone on the trip with taught me a lot. Without Megan, we would've been lost little kids in a town bigger than we could have ever dreamt of. We all depend on one another more than we know.

At Code of Conduct, one of the tattoo artists had a piece of paper attached to a mirror baring the quote "Life is pretty simple: you do some stuff. Most fails. Some works. You do more of what works. If it works big, others quickly copy it. Then you do something else. The trick is doing something else." The past few weeks have felt like how it feels when two or three necklaces get intertwined to the cord of your iPod headphones. You're so desperate to untangle the mess and to find where the knot that's holding the process up is located so you can fix it and be on your way. A few days ago, Cafe Gratitude's question of the day asked "Where in my life am I attached? Where could I really benefit from letting go?"

I'm letting go of the feeling that before I move forward, I need to untangle the knot that I keep stumbling on. Some questions don't have answers and some problems don't have solutions. Chicago reminded me to listen to my inner three-year old mentality. Big sky. No limits. Sometimes all it takes is one fork in the road to make you feel the need to wake up in the morning and start building from scratch. Sometimes all it takes is a few days looking at things through brand new eyes to remember that everything is fine, not final. Love is real. Life is good.

On the corner of State Street and Van Buren stands a thirty foot sculpture of a human eyeball. This piece and the entire city of Chicago reminded me of a very important life lesson; You are small, but in a really big way. It's easy to downplay one person's significance. It's easy to feel like your voice isn't being heard. One person may be small, but if we all focused less on our limitations and more on our potential, we'd be one step closer to moving mountains.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. Explore. Dream. Discover. Dear Chicago, I'm yours. Stay fresh.

On Being Love

2010-10-10T09:36:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for my feet. They will walk 250,000 miles in my lifetime; the distance from my front door to the moon. With every step, we make a choice. And with each choice we pave our paths. Today I am grateful for every footprint.

Last night I decided to join the Café Gratitude community and permanently etch the words "Be Love" into my forearm. 'Be Love' is a declaration about choosing kindness over being right. It's about giving up the conditions you think are required for love and instead opting for unconditional. Be the source yourself and send love, peace, and positivity into the universe.

The circle is a symbol of unity, wholeness, infinity, and the sun. Love doesn't have to come in increments. If you choose to be, you can love to infinity and beyond. A circle doesn't have a distinct beginning or ending; it's existence just is. The triangle has three equal sides, which speaks to the notion that if we live in a state of true equality, we will unconditionally love one another despite shape or color. A triangle is often associated with illumination, and is also the product when a person brings their two hands together to show gratitude.

I am thankful for illumination, Café Gratitude, and the city of Chicago. Be love. Stay fresh.

No Ceilings

2010-10-05T13:51:00.000-07:00

When I was little, I used to write questionaires for my dad. I wanted to get to know him better. I asked things like:

1. What hereditary illnesses am I likely to inherit?
2. What money and land am I likley to inherit?

And then I'd always add a multiple choice question into the mix, just for fun.

3. If your child was adopted, at what age would you choose to tell him?
4-8
9-14
15-18
Never

With every rising sun unfolds a million questions that you may never discover the answers to. I've learned to love the questions themselves, and instead acknowledge that sometimes you have to take the first step even if you can't see what's at the other side of the staircase. Because the truth is that in life, everyone goes underwater. It's up to you whether you dive like a submarine or sink like the Titanic.

Instead of drowning in the amount of homework my junior year of college is presenting, I decided to take the time to make a list of things I'm thankful for this week, and then my perspective changed quite a bit.

- I'm thankful for the volunteers across the world for giving up their time for free to make the world they live in a better place. In specific, thank you to the One Campaign for fighting to end discrimination in Bowling Green. Thank you for fighting for our neighbors and everyone who comes to work, live, play, and learn in our community.

- I'm thankful for my freedom and my ability to live life without ceilings. Living a life without limits is the absolute highest state of existence. Whose permission are you waiting for? What are you afraid of?

- I'm thankful for the boys that have broken my heart. You remind me that to love is to be vulnerable, and that even though bruised knees might be easier to fix, a broken heart is evidence I was brave enough to jump in the first place.

- I'm thankful for sasquatch; a legendary creature who lives within his natural surroundings, far beyond the limits of where most dare to go. He takes only what he needs and leaves little behind. Thank you to those who reuse and recycle and follow in his gigantic footsteps.

- I'm thankful to be able to spread the word. Tomorrow, October 6th, wear purple to pay your respects and show your support to the troubled members of the LGBTQ community. Always remember; you're loved, you're not alone, and it gets better.

Dare to do some renovations and take the ceilings out of your life. Live high. Stay fresh.

The Adventures of a Not-So-Super Hero

2010-10-01T19:24:00.001-07:00

In a few months, my blog will be turning four years old. This is a pretty considerable feat for a boy like me. I was thirteen when I created my first blog. For years, I experimented with the best of them; live journal, xanga, blogpress, tumblr, and even gave my own domain a shot. But after all these years, I managed to settle down with this. Sure, it's gone through a few changes. It's been renamed, redesigned, and the content has deviated a bit, but this blog has been the one and only consistent aspect of my life the past four years.

I was sixteen when I wrote my first entry in this blog. As a twenty year old looking back on older posts, I can't help but smile when reading some of the things that have been poured into these pages; each sentence coming from a different place of heartbreak, longing, happiness, or confusion. It's seen it's fair share of lovers, a decent amount of disappointments, and a wonderful collection of adventures. I think that it's kind of beautiful how human beings are constantly changing with each and every breath that they take.

The human body recreates itself every six months. Nearly every cell and bone dies, and is replaced. You are not who you were last November.

Since it's been so long, please allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Chad Hensley. I'm twenty years old, pursuing a Journalism degree at Bowling Green State University. I consider myself a boy who wears many hats, but mostly I am a human rights activist, a Starbucks barista, and most importnatly; a dreamer. Here are some things you might want to know about me.

Even under the ideal conditions, I have a hard time finding my keys in a pocket, finding my cell phone lost in my bed, and pinning the tail on the donkey. But under any given circumstance, I'm a professional at hitting the snooze button.

I can look at a clock three consecutive times without knowing what time it is.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you're going to die after leaning back in your computer chair a little too far.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

I would rather try to carry ten plastic grocery bags in each hand than make two trips to bring my groceries in.

I believe that the freezer deserves a light just as well as the fridge does.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes made to my ten page research paper I swear I did not make any changes to.

Bad decisions make good stories.

I have to sing that one Gwen Stefani song in my head every time I want to spell the word "bananas" just to make sure I didn't use too many n's.

Every time I hear the Emergency Broadcast System Test, I secretly pray it's a zombie outbreak.

I always buy the bruised or mishapen fruits and vegetables from the produce section because I feel like if I don't, they'll die alone and unable to fufill their life purpose.

I don't answer the phone if I don't know whose calling. Likewise, I keep certain numbers in my phone just to make sure I don't pick up if they happen to call.

Every atom of me misses you.

I relate to this song more than words can describe.

Thank you for giving me a place to learn, space to heal, and time to grow. Stay beautiful. Stay fresh.

Jason Mraz 'Life is Good' Tour

2010-09-29T23:15:00.000-07:00

It had been a little over a year since the last time Jason Mraz came around for a show in Ohio. I took part in a little road trip to Columbus last night for a very special occasion. "Enjoy the concert you came to see," he suggested. "If you came here to have a good time with your friends, do it. If you came hear to sing your lungs out even if you don't know all the words, sing. Don't let your mind stop you from having a good time."

He came to promote the upcoming 'Life Is Good' EP and performed a brand new setlist for a few thousand hungry fans. The reason I enjoy Jason's shows, besides the obvious, is the message he's spreading across the world. The concepts of gratitude and unconditional love, while being extremely simplistic and understated, are ideas that have the power and ability to change the world one heart at a time.

The show was wonderfully arranged. The show's backdrop is made from recycled plastic 2-liter bottles, promoting the green initiative and showing millions of people that you can create something beautiful with the tools that you have in your own two hands. He spent most of the show interacting with the audience and knocking down the barriers that separate most fans from their favorite artists. All of the new material Mr. A-Z performed was fresh and inspiring. My favorite segment of the show was the song I consider the most beautifully written of all time, "A Beautiful Mess," leading into a new song he titled "A Friend from Ohio."

However, the new song "Who I Am Today" moved me to tears. In the song, he expresses gratitude to everyone who played a role in his life, proving that whether or not you believe someone played a positive or a negative part, their existence in your world is vital to the person you end up becoming. Over the past week there has been a lot of news coverage about the suicide rates amongst LGBTQ youth. It truly saddens me that the discrimination embedded in such a huge part of today's society is taking away so many innocent kids' possibilities to see that the pain that they face will make them even more beautiful after the storm. I believe there's nothing more important than expressing gratitude for the dark and the light, the good and the bad. The message this song conveys could change, and perhaps even save, the lives of anyone who might believe that they are less than whole because of something a law, judge, peer, or individual told them.

"I thank the boy that kicked my ass when I was seventeen.
I thank the ones who chose to laugh and those who acted mean.
I thank the bullies for all their scraps and accidents and then some.
They shaped my life; they made me like who I've become.

I thank the girls who gave their hand and showed me how to dance.
I thank the ones who laughed and passed and never gave a second chance.
I learned it's okay for some to go and some to stay.
They shaped my life; they made me love who I am today.

I thank the galaxy for how we're made of gravity.
I thank the sky above for hosting clouds to float on top of me.
They gave me air to breathe, they give me rain, they give me snow.
They shaped my life; they gave me so much room to grow."

Thank you, Jason Mraz, for shaping my life and providing me with a brand new pair of eyes to see the world with. Thank you for giving me yet another wonderful night with you. Thank you Columbus for being the beautiful city that you are, and thank you to the engineer(s) of this building. Seeing the words "Live United" illuminated against a dark midnight sky transformed an average skyrise office building into a message of love, hope, and equality. Thank you.

"Be the striving artist that you're afraid to be. Get poetic. Volunteer. Travel. You were not born here to work and pay taxes, you were put here to be a part of a vast organism, to explore and create. Stop putting it off. The world has much more to offer than what you know now. Take pictures. Scare people. Be the change you want to see in the world, you'll thank yourself for it." - Jason Thomas Mraz

In Pursuit of Life, Love, and Perfection

2010-09-29T09:18:00.000-07:00

If someone would have asked me six years ago where I would be in the fall of 2010, I would have told them I'd be traveling the skies as a flight attendant with my best friend, exploring Russia's snowfall and carefully studying to be an interpreter for the United Nations.

If someone would have asked me four years ago where I would be in the fall of 2010, I would've answered that I'd be a student at Hawaii Pacific University with a strict avocado and tequila diet, completely content as a columnist for a local independent newspaper.

If someone would have asked me three years ago where I would be in the fall of 2010, I would have told them I'd be close to finishing my degree from NYU, splitting my spare time between a fabulous internship and volunteer work for the Human Rights Campaign.

If someone would have asked me a year ago where I would be in the fall of 2010, I would have told them I'd be happy, healthy, and in love somewhere in a studio apartment in Santa Monica, California; and that somehow the rest of the pieces would fall into place.

As human beings, we spend so much time and energy in pursuit of living in a perfect world. In this perfect world, everything would go according to plan. We'd never stumble. Every boo-boo could be fixed with a band-aid and a popsicle. Hearts wouldn't break and people wouldn't die. In a perfect world;

Stickers always peel off clean.
A stray thread never come loose.
All of the popcorn kernels pop.
The omelette never breaks in the pan while you cook it.
There will be green lights all the way when you need them most.
Video pop up ads do not exist.
That thing you want comes in your favorite color.
The weather man is always right.
The battery is always full at the right time.
All erasers completely erase pencil marks.
Paper jams never happen.
The other sock never goes missing .
The most wrinkled dollars are accepted by machines .
The toilet paper roll is never empty at the wrong time.
People can differentiate between "your" and "you're."
AM and PM never get mixed up on the alarm clock.
People respond to text messages immediately.
There's always milk in the refrigerator for cereal.

Much to my sock drawer's dismay, this is not the world in which we live. The truth is that we are human. We hurt. We bruise our knees. We say things we don't mean. Hearts break. People die. Life rolls on with or without you.

Ever since I moved to Bowling Green, I walk to and from class every morning. On the left hand sidewalk as you're nearing the cross walk, there's a rise in the concrete that I would trip over day after day for weeks. The first tumble was painful. The second was embarrassing. The third was a lesson. I can continue to blame the city for hiring unprofessional landscapers, or wonder if the shoes I had just bought were a little too big for my feet to adjust to; or I could accept responsibility for the fall and adjust accordingly. Sometimes I forget that the little crack is even there, and if I just so happen to stumble over it once and a while, I know it's a small little reminder from the universe that we are fragile, imperfect, and just the way we should be.

Life is short and it won't change unless you do. Don't be afraid to break the rules. Forgive like you have amnesia. Believe like a three year old. Love like you're crazy. Laugh until you fart, and never regret anything that made you happy.

Things I've Learned from Starbucks

2010-09-24T16:15:00.000-07:00

My third year of being a college student has been an overwhelmingly monstrous experience. Between consistently missing my 8:00 am classes, reading Fitzgerald and Hemingway drunk, and adjusting to life as the newest barista at the BG Student Union Starbucks, it's safe to say if nothing else, I've learned to juggle.

Life's little lessons find a way to creep into the places you least expect to discover them. They camp out in dark corners and can hit you like a school bus strikes a pedestrian. At fourteen, I had my first chai tea latte from Starbucks and knew it was love at first drink (much like my relationship with Jose Cuervo margaritas and Zombie Bacardi martinis.) Six years later, I now spend most of my nights making lattes and frappuccinos for thirsty teenagers across the city. And believe it or not, somehow between the mountains of whipped cream and stained green aprons I've managed to pick up a few lessons of my own.

Nine things I've learned from being a Starbucks Barista

It's very possible to burn your fingerprints off like Will Smith did in Men in Black.
As best spoken by Bob Dylan, "I accept chaos. I'm not sure whether it accepts me."
Most people don't really care what they're drinking as long as it comes inside of a trendy green and white cup.
There's no use crying over spilt milk, or coffee beans.
The most important thing in life is to stop saying "I wish" and start saying "I will." Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities.
'That's What She Said' is an appropriate response to any statement or question.
Vampire Weekend being on Starbucks' nightly playlist makes life a lot easier.
Resources are rare; reuse and recycle.
Free espresso is my friend. Thank you for being.

But the most important lesson I've learned from Starbucks didn't come to me as an employee; it came as a customer. Last year I'd consider my morning routine incomplete without stopping for a skinny vanilla latte before I started the day. One morning I was a little shaken and a lot inspired by a quote I found printed under the sleeve of my cup.

"The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you're not good enough. On occasion, some may be correct. But do not do their work for them. Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal. Don't take it personally when they say "no" — they may not be smart enough to say "yes."- Keith Olbermann

Next time you stop by, remember that life is too short and opt for a grande of your favorite drink, or even a venti of something you've never tried before if you're feeling dangerous. Live without inhibition. Drink plentifully. Stay fresh.

The Divided States of America

2010-09-22T14:07:00.001-07:00

Hi, my name is Chad Hensley. I'm a twenty year old college student, and I am a second class citizen.

As many of you by now know, senators across the nation had a chance to choose whether or not we should repeal the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. John McCain blocked the vote in it's entirety with a filibuster, so we were never even capable of engaging in a debate. The DADT policy restricts the United States military from efforts to discover or reveal closeted gay, lesbian, or bisexual service members or applicants and reserves the right to discharge a soldier if they choose to serve openly as a member of the LGBT community. Over 400 soldiers were discharged under the policy under Obama's presidency alone.

In effort to speak against this abomination of our civil rights, I started a Facebook group, asking 440 friends to call their senators and ask them to vote against the filibuster and in favor of repealing DADT. I'm less worried about the fact that the Republican party is resorting to all time lows just to maintain their artificial feeling of superiority over the rest of the world, but more so about what I learned from spreading the word on Facebook.

Out of the 440 friends invited, only 56 selected to "attend" the event, while 36 said "maybe." Seeing as there was no real event and all the page was requesting was a thirty second phone call, I didn't expect such low numbers. By Tuesday night, 120 of my friends chose not to attend this event, while 228 didn't bother replying at all. Amongst those who declined were people who I consider to be very close friends and several members of the LGBT community. I'll never understand why some people are so against the idea of standing up for themselves and demanding the rights that they deserve.

But what I do know is that the fight is not over. When I pledge allegiance to the flag, I'm not pledging to the flag of the Divided States of America. Don't Ask Don't Tell speaks against everything we pretend America stands for and completely contradicts the moral concepts we built this country's foundations upon. Change is inevitable. One day the world will wake up and realize that labels are for clothes, and the words we use to define ourselves by no means correlate to our capabilities, lifestyles, or worth as individuals. You are beautiful. The barriers that divide us are bound to collapse sooner or later, and we'll stand tall and proud of everything we fought for, shining brighter than the stars. Defend equality. Love unites.

It's Always Sunny in Bowling Green

2010-08-31T14:52:00.000-07:00

Moving to a new city is always an exhilarating experience. The intoxicating thrill of unmarked territory and unexplored possibility is usually an overwhelming adventure that burns like a star in a summer's night sky. But after three weeks, moving to Bowling Green has been nothing but a change of address and zip code. But nevertheless, whether it's been adjusting to having two roommates or getting lost somewhere in some building on a brand new campus, I'm welcoming the change with open arms and open mind.

Today I was wandering around the city and noticed that a flower and a couple blades of grass were growing through a crack in the sidewalk. I want to live my life like that. I want to rise up and grow in the least likely of places, against all odds. I want to stand tall and proud even if some would find it unusual. I believe that the earth being round is a constant reminder that no matter how small or insignificant you think you are, wherever on it you decide to stand, you're still on top. You're on top of the world.

Life is like a canvas; it begins blank and every day is like another bush stroke. Make your life a masterpiece. In my life, I've known to face quite a few obstacles and hurdles, but I believe that it's important to remember that absolutely nothing is impossible. The word itself is "I'm Possible." Courage doesn't always roar with the ferocity of a lion. Sometimes courage is the quiet whisper at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." Impossible is a word critics and scientists like to throw around to limit the possibilities we think are available within our reach. Don't accept it. Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

I believe that the reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.

Let go.

I dare you to let go of that. Ask yourself; when was the last time you did something for the first time? Today, do the thing you never do. Let go.

Think with your head. Act with your heart. Stay fresh.

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me

2010-07-30T16:48:00.000-07:00

Life is awesome. Awesome like (successfully) picking up things with your feet on the first try, cutting a sandwich into triangles, or driving around with the windows down on a late summer night. The past month has been full of lessons. Most importantly;

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
The perks of summer are easily drunken limo rides, white chocolate raspberry cheesecake, and singing "Speechless" by Lady Gaga with my best friends.
Leap and the net will appear.

The past few weeks have been filled with blog-worthy material. I could fill this entry with a list of things I've spent my time doing since I've quit my job. I could compose a witty entry about the rollercoaster that my love life has become, but I feel like that book's already been written. I'm sure I could piece together something about my love for shark week, or maybe I could just talk about how incredible the Weezer show Stephanie and I attended the other night was. Just in case Rivers Cuomo happens to read this, I love you, and thank you for this, for covering MGMT and Lady Gaga, and making me one of the happiest kids in Columbus that night.

I could always write about how last week my best friend Miss Kelsey Hammond celebrated her twenty first birthday. After spending twelve years growing, stumbling, and exploring with her, the thought of waking up without knowing she'll be right down the street to help me piece together whatever happens to be broken that morning is terrifying. I'm so proud of everything she has become and all that we've conquered together. You're my missing puzzle piece. Happy birthday. Thank you for being.

Or maybe I could mention that on the 29th of this month, my existence in this universe turned 20 years old. But a day on a calendar won't keep me from wondering, questioning, and wandering like a three year old boy. Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody and everything I've ever known. I'm overflowing with gratitude that I'm surrounded by so much love, positivity, and support. Thank you for teaching me the ways of the world. You give me the strength to walk even if my legs feel like spaghetti and the courage to speak even if my voice shakes. Without you, I'm nothing. I love you like whoa.

But I'm not writing about any of that. I'm writing to ask you a question. And no, unlike Ke$ha, I'm not going to ask if you want to have a slumber party in my basement or if I make your heart beat like an 808 drum. Did you know that the energy of a human being extends four feet around him? Where are you being negatively effected? Where are you negatively effecting others? Live right. Love hard. Stay fresh.

The Chemistry of Fireworks

2010-07-16T04:24:00.000-07:00

I am a pioneer embarking on a wonderful journey, exploring and experiencing the physical world and all that the summer of 2010 has to offer. Somewhere between quitting my job and taking a salsa dancing lesson, I've discovered a new sense of self. Life has my attention. Undivided.

Even after all this time, the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that; it lights the whole sky." - Hafiz

As a kid, I never particularly enjoyed the fourth of July. As a vegetarian, I'm usually left with minimal options at most family barbecues and I was never a huge fan of the Will Smith movie marathons most TV stations seem to play on repeat all weekend. This summer, I looked at the fourth with brand new eyes and found a new love and appreciation for the day. Honestly, it has little to do with America. Don't get me wrong - I'm grateful and proud to live here, and I'm thankful for my freedom and aware of it's cost, but personally, I believe something much bigger happens on this holiday that's rare and unspeakably beautiful.

Every summer the small town I live in hosts a festival on fourth of July weekend. Hundreds of people gather downtown for drinks, conversation, and reconnection. On Saturday, my friend Kelsey and I decided to go watch the fireworks display the festival featured. That night, hundreds of people gathered in one location to witness the same event. Lovers, families, and friends brought blankets, lawn chairs, and coolers to camp out and wait for the show to begin. The fireworks exploded as constant color, thunder shapes dancing and painting the sky. The lights and sound never fail to take my breath away. And in that final moment, I looked at my surroundings and realized we were all there by choice and chance. We were all there to watch the wonder unfold before our eyes without anyone telling us what to do or how to respond. Yet as the last few fireworks exploded, we did the same, all of us clapping unanimously with excitement and awe. We were no longer hundreds of different people. We had become one thing with one purpose and one experience.

People are quick to call life a monster. The mornings never stop. Every day millions of people wake up feeling swallowed and alone. Every day millions of people give up and go back to sleep with broken dreams, feeling invisible and forgotten. But that night I saw it pause. I saw hundreds of hungry eyes digesting every flash and swallowing the moment whole. This fourth of July, I hope you saw the wonderment when the sky ignited with color. I hope you felt the fireworks inside every fiber of your being. I hope you remembered that anything within this universe is attainable. This fourth of July, I hope you discovered that we are love, and that we are one.

As the road ahead unwinds before you, I hope you take advantage of the life you've been given. I hope you laugh so hard you cry. Do something that scares you. Thank a teacher. Remember that you are as wonderful as your dog thinks you are. Get your hands dirty. Be the first to enter and last to leave the dance floor. Dream big. Act bigger. Stay fresh.

An Alternate Hero

2010-07-16T01:51:00.000-07:00

The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure. Growth is unattainable while sitting inside of our comfort zones. But once and a while, against all odds, we find an alternative kind of hero hiding modestly where no one's looking, showcasing unspeakable moments of bravery. These heroes don't have superhuman strength or x-ray vision, but posses the rare ability of shamelessly existing as a fearless dreamer. Thank you for being.

Once and a while you witness small things that you carry around with you everyday in the back of your mind. When I was younger, my dad and I used to head into the city of Norwalk to have lunch and pick up groceries. I'd usually ask him to go to Walmart, because if I was lucky we could look through the toy isle and I could sneak something into the cart when he wasn't paying attention. I remember every time we walked into the store there would be an older man gathering carts and delivering them back to the entrance. Whenever I saw this man working, he'd be proudly singing a song I usually couldn't recognize at the top of his lungs. I remember thinking how cool I thought he was, and how I wish I was brave enough to sing everywhere I went.

I never thought much about the stranger again. Now that I'm older, I'm rarely anywhere near Norwalk, and avoid shopping at Walmart at all costs. But a few nights ago, I was wasting time on Facebook at 3:00 a.m. and happened to stumble across a page titled "Norwalk's Singing Cart Guy Should Be Able to Sing His Heart Out." The stranger I used to look up to immediately popped into my head. It turns out the group was actually created in his honor. As I read the profile, I learned that a Walmart customer called to complain about Steve, the same person I found myself looking up to as a kid, and that since he had stopped singing to ensure the customer's happiness.

I find it heartbreaking that we live in a world where someone who showcases such a fearless spirit is looked down upon as a 'bother' or an 'inconvenience.' Dylan Hurst wrote in support of this hero, "If everyone in the world was happy as him, there would be no war." If a Walmart employee can find a reason to smile and a voice to sing every morning, what are we waiting for? Over three thousand people have come to support this superhero. I'll carry the lesson he offered with me everyday and because of him, I am a stronger, happier person. Thank you, and sing on.

Love Is The Answer

2010-07-06T23:45:00.000-07:00

Home is where my chin rests on your clavicle and I can breathe you in. Home is being able to dance around without pants on and feel completely shameless. Tonight, home is a world away from me. I feel so far from you right now. I desperately want to be back in your orbit. It never ceases to amaze me how spectacularly beautiful, radiant, and gorgeous you are. I love you from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. You invade my dreams, camp out in the corners of my mind, and occupy the vacancy in my heart every night.

Things I Like About Coffee

- Coffee is hot.

- Coffee makes me excited.

- Coffee is good enough to have everyday.

- Coffee smells good.

- Coffee makes you nervous sometimes.

- Coffee gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling.

- Even when coffee is too strong, or too weak, it's still good.

Things I Like About You

- Pretty much the same as coffee.

- And who knows, maybe you taste good and keep me up all night, too.

Let's order cheap tacos and watch lifetime movies. Better yet, let's wake up late and eat cereal in bed and watch cartoons. It's been a little less than 48 hours since we've spoke. Not being able to talk to you makes me feel like part of my brain is missing. It breaks my heart to see you in pain and makes me realize that I'd do most anything to protect you, even if it means letting you go.

You used to ask me why I love you, and like a coward I'd fumble over my words. I'm going to try to do a better job now. The real answer is greater than the sum of these parts; the scar on your chin, and the fact that after all this time I still feel nervous in the back of my throat, the pit of my stomach, and the bottom of my heart everytime I see you. I love you without limitations or boundaries. You are my highlight. You are my everything. Thank you for being.

To Infinity and Beyond

2010-06-30T15:40:00.000-07:00

I spent most of my childhood listening to Alanis Morisette cassette tapes and watching The Brave Little Toaster on VHS while playing Bop It and trying to conquer my rubix cube. I spent a lot of time learning lessons and exploring possibilities. My eyes were full of wonderment and curiosity. This week, an open chapter of my childhood was finally closed with Toy Story 3, a coming of age tale about trust, obstacles, commitment, and growing up.

It's no secret that I've learned most of my life's lessons in rather peculiar ways. I learned from Buzz Lightyear that sometimes we believe we're a lot stronger than we really are. We make mistakes. We fall down. We bruise our knees. But he also taught me that no matter how hard we crash and burn, we're always left with an opportunity to rise from the ashes; ready to protect the universe, defend the galaxies, and to love to infinity and beyond.

Lately I've been wearing two bracelets - one yellow, and one gray, as a constant reminder of the beautiful struggle we face everyday. The yellow symbolizes energy, gratitude, love, and happiness. The gray symbolizes bravery, heartbreak, and fearlessness. Everytime I look at my wrists, I'm reminded that it takes tears to make you rust, and it takes that rust to have it polished. If it's a mess, it's a message. And I'd be ridiculously understating if I labeled the past few weeks as simply "messy."

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same. Three words in the English language when used together hold more meaning than most of the other words found in most dictionaries combined, but for some reason, they are sometimes the three hardest to speak. It makes one stop and wonder, what is love? What is love defined by? I don't think love is something you can look to a Disney movie to define, or something any author could assign meaning to. To define love is to set a limit to what you can feel; completely slandering the whole meaning and diminishing the act of loving all together. What I do know is that if we discovered that we had only five minutes to say all that we wanted to say before we lost the chance to, every telephone booth in the world would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them. Today, I redefined what love means to me. Today, I realized that every "I love you" we hold inside of us is a wasted opportunity. My brand new eyes see things so clearly.

Dear Today,
I am thankful. Today I remember we are broken creatures. I remember our brokenness is not the end, that we can let the light in through the cracks. I remember that intersections mean that we are coming from different angles. I remember to be thankful for the crossing. I remember we must work to sew ourselves to each other. I remember that pulling the threads takes steady fingers and commitment. I remember that roots are worth it, no matter how temporary. And these are pretentious and varying metaphors, yet they completely capture my June 29th.

I love you to infinity and beyond. Thank you for being.

Yours,
Chad Lightyear; Space Ranger.

Rollerblading for Equality

2010-06-24T01:58:00.000-07:00

Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they're supposed to help you discover who you are. Today I spent the afternoon in Lakewood, Rollerblading for Equality. After exploring sidewalks in green short shorts, a yellow sweatband, and a pair of white gym socks with purple stripes, I realized that standing up for what you believe in isn't always the easiest road to travel down, but whether you're walking, marching, or rollerblading, it's the fact that you were brave enough to lace up your shoes for battle and take the first step that counts.

We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, and achieve goals. We are born into this world with limitless potential, unbridled creativity, and the capacity to love without measure. You are golden. You are brilliant. You are perfect.

I'd like to take this opportunity to voice my gratitude to the following three organizations I hold close to my heart. I am eternally grateful to have such powerful, bold, and courageous forces fighting with me for everything I believe so passionately in.

The Human Rights Campaign is the largest civil rights organization in the world, advocating for equality for any and all members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. The goal of the HRC Foundation is for every being in this universe to live their lives openly, and to change the hearts and minds of Americans to choose equality over discrimination, change over tradition, and love over hate. For information about the campaign and how you can help, visit their official website and join the fight for equality.

The Trevor Project is a brilliant, ground-breaking non-profit organization created to aid members of the LGTB community who find themselves seeking aid in crisis and hope to provide tools for suicide prevention. Unfortunately, due to the social structures our society has built, a study conducted in 2006 suggests that members of the gay community are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. If you, or someone you know, is struggling or in pursuit of a shoulder to lean on, call a counselor at The Trevor Hotline; 866.4.U.TREVOR (866-488-7386), or visit their official website for more information.

The NOH8 Campaign is a photographic silent protest born in light of the passing of Proposition 8 in California. Thousands of politicians, military personnel, newlyweds, law enforcement, artists, celebrities, and many other subjects wear silver duct tape over their mouths symbolizing their voices being silenced by Proposition 8 and similar legislation around the world. Search for future photo opportunities, events, and news about the campaign on their official website, or follow them on Twitter.

There is nothing in existence that is permanent except change. We're not all in the position to pass a law suggesting that no one deserves to be treated as a second class citizen. We are all in the position to change our minds and to change our habits. When the sun rises, it rises for everyone. And everytime we look up, no matter what sexual orientation you claim, what skin pigmentation you might have, what system of beliefs you identify with, or what body parts you were born with; we see sky. We are one. Change is easy if you close your eyes, free your mind, and think with your heart. Defend justice. Support equality. Pledge love. Stay fresh.

Constellations, Monkey Bars, and Gravity

2010-06-16T18:54:00.000-07:00

After his encounter with an apple, Sir Isaac Newton discovered the law of gravity. Gravity is the mass-proportionate force of attraction among matter.

I'm grateful for this humble law. Gravity is the identity that lends weight to all objects and causes them to fall. Gravitation is responsible for keeping the earth and the other planets in their orbits around the sun and for keeping the moon in its orbit around the earth. According to scientist Albert Einstein, gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love, but I believe otherwise.

Over the past few weeks I've spent a lot of time high; whether it be lost somewhere on the wing of a plane or lying on a rooftop searching the 3 A.M. sky for illuminated constellations and answers to my list of unsettled questions. Tonight I ask myself why as humans, we're so afraid of falling. Is it the jump? Do we all panic a little bit at the thought of conquering our fear of heights? Learning begins when we step outside of our comfort zones and challenge the universe. Living a life without limits is the absolute highest state of existence. Whose permission are you depending on? What are you afraid of?

I believe that to fall is to understand the universe. Over the past nineteen years I've mastered the art of falling. Whether it be for the cute boy with the dark eyes and handsome smile, or from the monkey bars in middle school, I've spent a lot of time hiding bruises and learning lessons. I'm not afraid of falling. Gravity is on my side, and although I might lose my footling, you will not bring me down.

The art of falling is to be humble and realize that nothing is wrong. Take ownership of the situation. Be proud that you fucked up perfectly.

Live dangerously. Love unapologetically. Stay fresh.

Are we human or are we dancers?

2010-06-06T22:45:00.000-07:00

In 2008, Brandon Flowers from The Killers raised the captivating question, "are we human, or are we dancers?" What do you think? What side of the spectrum do you fall on?

At first glance, I'm sure you'll find yourself asking, "Can't you just be both?" Mister Flowers explained to a journalist in Chicago that he believes we're raising a "generation of dancers," and that the word 'dancer' should be taken in the same context as the word 'human,' (as a distinct species.) Let's refer to our friend Webster to examine the possibilities a little closer.

Human |ˈ(h)yoōmən| (noun)

A member of the genus homosapien and especially of the species
Having or showing those positive aspects of nature and character regarded as distinguishing humans from other animals
Subject to or indicative of the weaknesses, imperfections, and fragility associated with humans

Dancer |ˈdansər| (noun)

To move rhythmically usually to music, using prescribed or improvised steps and gestures
To leap, to jump, to move
The act or instance of dancing

If the day ever comes, and I completely hope that someday it does, where the universe is forced to chose sides, I won't hesitate before declaring myself a dancer. I am an animal. I am free. I am building a new universe, one where people where tutus, cops wear sombreros, lawyers where viking hats, and priests wear their underwear outside of their robes. Strangers shout "hi" at each other through car windows, and people have speakers attached to their chests and hearts that pour out music so you can tell from a distance what kind of mood they're in, and no one will be too chicken to get naked and dance when the rain comes.

Lady Gaga said it best herself. It's gonna be okay, just dance. What are you waiting for?

Green Tea Party

2010-05-25T12:31:00.000-07:00

Did you know that over the entire celestial sphere, there are only 8479 stars visible every night from our planet? There are roughly 300 billion stars floating somewhere throughout the universe. I am small. You are small. We are small. But we are beautiful. I am beautiful. You are beautiful. We are all significant and we are all perfect just as we are.

I'm creating a new movement. Lately there's been a lot of political discussion about tea parties in relation to president Obama, but I propose a new, lighter alternative. Let's bind together and form the Green Tea Party, fighting for social and environmental justice. Instead of operating from a place of bitterness and aggression, substitute for a fresh, new state of existence. Are you in?

(And now might be the perfect time considering the recent Deepwater Horizon oil spill which has left Louisiana, and environmentalists, a mess.)

Last week, the southeast African country of Malawai sentenced two gay men to fourteen years in jail based solely off of their relationship with one another and identifying with a "deviant" sexual orientation. In times like these, it's important to remember the lessons we have learned from yesterday. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We need progress. We need perseverance. We need change. Change only comes to those who demand it. We need to let go of the sense of passivity we've communally adopted and accept the responsibility we have in creating the reality we wish to live in. Join the thousands who have stood up against this injustice and sign 'Raising Malawi; A stand for equal rights and human dignity for all,' but more importantly, raise awareness around you. Change your very own backyard first, and eventually the backyards around yours will start to look a little brighter.

Think critically. Live dangerously. Love universally.

27 Little Awesome Things

2010-05-14T21:56:00.000-07:00

This year I've learned that the sea's only gifts are harsh blows and occasionally the chance to feel strong. I might not know a lot about the sea, but I believe that the universal truth speaks to any situation; it's important in life not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong. Measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most humbling human conditions. And it's at this very moment, while you're alone facing your darkest nightmare when you start to conceptualize all of the little things you've taken for granted. Express gratitude for the little awesome things that happen to you everyday, and the next time you look at the big picture, it'll shine beautifully.

27 Little Things I'm Grateful For

When your windshield wipers match the beat of the song on the radio.
The sound of snow crunching underneath your shoes.
Reuniting a sock from the sock orphanage drawer with it's freshly washed, once lost brother.
Wordless apologies.
Awkwardly standing by yourself with a full cafeteria tray of food when you suddenly spot your friend waving at you.
Screaming at characters in movies to do things.
Passing under a bridge on the highway when it's pouring rain.
That feeling in your stomach when you go really high on the swings.
The moment at a restaurant after you see your food coming from the kitchen and before it lands on your table.
Sneaking under someone else's umbrella.
Waking up before your alarm clock and realizing you've got lots of sleep time left.
Squeezing through a door as it's shutting without touching it.
Knowing all the buttons to speed through the automated telephone system.
The take a penny, leave a penny bowl.
When public bathrooms have paper towels instead of hand dryers.
Building an amazing couch cushion fort.
Pushing those little buttons on the soft drink cup lid.
The smell of the coffee aisle in the grocery store.
The other side of the pillow.
Paying for something with exact change.
Multitasking while brushing your teeth.
Playing old school video games.
Getting a trucker to blow their horn.
Doing anything that makes you feel like a caveman.
The first scoop out of a jar of peanut butter.
Using rock-paper-scissors to settle serious situations.
Building a stack of pancakes that looks just like the front of the box.

Completely put your heart into everything that you do. Nevermind if you lose your mind in the process. Stay fresh.

The Geography of Bliss

2010-05-06T23:21:00.000-07:00

Greetings earthlings. I come in peace. Lately, I've been exploring the spiritual piece of my existence, and I recently came across a mantra that spoke volumes to me; "We cannot lower the mountain, so we must elevate ourselves."

Whether you're a doctor, a poet, a dreamer, an activist, a christian, a ringleader; no matter what label you subscribe to, life happens. Let down your guard, put up your sail, and let the current be your guide. Trust in the stars and take your hands off the wheel. Life rolls on.

List 3 things you'd try to accomplish if you were going to coordinate a flash mob.

We'd arrive at a homeless shelter wearing two sets of clothes and simultaneously strip one layer off and leave it. (or both layers, perhaps.)
Shut down Times Square in New York City dancing to "We Are Golden" while throwing fistfuls of glitter into the air.
Coordinate a dance to "Radar" on Cleveland's Inner Belt Bridge. We'll shock onlookers by stopping during the last chorus to pick up liter at 3:33 am.

Write an haiku about anything currently running through your mind.

Hello.
My name is Chad.
Poetry is not fun.
I like avocados and
sour cream.

List there things you need in order to have a great day.

Starbucks (preferably a skinny vanilla latte, but usually I'm not picky.)
An old cardigan and new briefs from American Apparel.
Waking up to cute text messages someone sent while you were asleep.

Thank you for reading. Keep shining your radiant light into our perfect universe each and every morning. Live beautifully. Dream passionately. Love completely.

“The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.” - Hunter S. Thompson

One Day Without Shoes

2010-04-08T10:13:00.000-07:00

Last week, I challenged you to make today count for more than another number on a calendar. Are you up for the challenge?

One Day Without Shoes is the day we can collectively spread awareness as a community to promote what our nation, and other nations, are desperately longing for; change. TOMS Shoes is a foundation formed to aide less fortunate countries in our world with the premise that with every pair of shoes you purchase from the TOMS store, the company will gift a pair to a child in need. On April 8th, dare to experience what a life without shoes would entail. Try to conquer the challenges that millions of children face with every sunrise. Do you have what it takes?

Why is this so important? Soil transmitted disease is a growing epidemic in less developed countries, which can easily penetrate the skin if an individual is barefoot. Long term physical and cognitive harm can be avoided for millions of children if we supply them with a simple material we take for granted everyday. These same children are often denied access to public school, (shoes are required in most dress codes), which prohibits them from receiving an education, therefore destroying the little chance they might have to thrive.

The world is our canvas; paint it beautifully. Join the one for one movement, and spend your day barefoot. For more information, visit TOMS Shoes, or the One Day Without Shoes homepage.

The Animal

2010-04-02T16:27:00.000-07:00

In life, I don't know much. Living as a nineteen year old college student, everyday I learn about greeks, romans, civilizations, societies, cultures, anthropology, sex, gender, communication, psychology, humanities, science, and chemistry; but yet I posses little wisdom. I know that I was born, and I know that I will die, and I know that the in between is mine. I know who I am and I know where I stand.

My hands are messy, trembling in desperation waiting for you to reach out and intertwine your fingers with mine. My body is your playground; a host of scars, flaws, and imperfections; hungry for your lips to kiss every square inch. By night, my heart is your dancefloor; ignited by strobe lights and heavy beating, inviting you to lose yourself within it. By morning, my dancefloor is a gallery of broken pieces, each shard a fossil of what used to be and a promise of what could grow.

Things Humanity Could Learn from Animals
1. The ability to find great joy in the simple things.
2. The willingness to love unconditionally.
3. The knowledge to trust your instincts.
4. The truth that suggests clothing is optional.

I am an animal. I am a student. I am a teacher. I an a work in progress. I am aware; aware of the truth that even in the stillest moments, there's never nothing going on. There are no ordinary moments. I am aware of the truth that when your legs grow tired, you must walk with your heart. Stay fresh.

National High Five Day

2010-03-13T12:18:00.000-08:00

Greetings earthlings. Chances are if you are reading this, the grass is green, the sun, (or moon), is shining, and most importantly, your heart is beating. And if it just so happens that maybe the sun isn't shining on your house today, embrace the cloud blocking it and remember that hidden somewhere within it is a silver lining. I'm filled to the brim and overflowing with gratitude. What are you thankful for today? Today, I am thankful for being fortunate enough to have been given a brain; a brain filled with concepts, philosophies, opinions, and ideas.

This morning, while brushing my teeth, I had an idea. I decided that I would proclaim today National High Five Day, a simple outlet to promote positivity, gratitude, and staying fresh. I spent my morning handing out high fives to everyone I encountered, and everyone who encountered me. I started with the stranger I buy my newspaper from every morning, continued with the boy who crafted by chai tea latte at Starbucks, and then shared them with all of my coworkers later that evening. But like most ideas, National High Five Day was met with criticism. Specifically, from a good friend of mine, mister Daniel Wise.

What is all this, Chad? What are you trying to do? You can't change the world.

It's not about changing the world, it's about changing your mind. Everyday millions of people wake up to an angry alarm clock and face the day ahead of them with the ideology "the sooner it's over, the better." There's a silver lining behind every day, every minute, and every second of every moment. Everyday should be a celebration. If you allow it, everyday can be a holiday. Whether it be National High Five Day, (which I later found is an actual holiday celebrated on the third Thursday of April), World Hoop Day, or even National No Pants Day, there's always a reason to promote positivity, to express gratitude, and to stay fresh.

Let's make today count for more than another number on a calendar.

On Love, Sadness, and Life.

2010-03-06T21:29:00.000-08:00

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that "everything in the universe goes by indirection; there are no straight lines." I've spent the past few weeks lost somewhere amongst textbooks, schedules, boyfriends, and zombies, but finally spring break has commenced and I've been spending most of my time making guacamole, drinking strawberry mango margaritas, and contemplating how 2010 has unfolded thus far.

On Love; In my life, I've been guilty of subscribing to a few labels. I've been an activist, a traveler, a citizen, a boyfriend, a student, a teacher, a fuck buddy, a dreamer, an addict, a monster, an explorer, a human, and more than anything, a lover. Everyday I learn that life isn't divided into genres; it's a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. Every page turn offers a new lesson, new insight, and a brand new perspective. In the last few pages I've learned that according to greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zues split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. The prospering power of love is overwhelmingly triumphant and breathtakingly beautiful. Thank you for painting the pages of my horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel gold.

On Sadness; Although my pages are painted beautifully in gold, sometimes an uninvited guest can slip through the cracks of my foundation. Luckily, I've found a recipe to prevent this troublesome intruder. Into each day, put in one teaspoon of Starbucks, a dash of adventure, a pinch of wonderment, and a heaping cup full of gratitude and your day will be immaculately sublime.

On Life; More than anything, I've learned so far in the pages of my horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel that whether or not it is clear to me in the present, the universe is undoubtably unfolding as it should. I've learned to have patience with everything that remains unsolved in my mind and in my heart. Instead, I try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms or books written in a foreign language. The answers, the key, or the translation cannot be given to me yet. I am human, and I've fallen guilty to searching for a perfect ending. Now I've learned that some poems don't rhyme. Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Instead, I plan on breaking the monotony and doing something strange and extravagant. Instead of following where the path may lead, I'll instead go where there is no path and leave a trail. I'll find life experiences and swallow them whole. I'll travel, meet new people, go down some dead ends and explore dark alleys. I will try everything and exhaust myself in the glorious pursuit of life. I will think dangerously, love generously and live righteously.

"Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absent minded.
Someone sober will worry about events going badly.
Let the lover be." - Rumi

Good Morning

2010-02-22T12:02:00.000-08:00

I woke up today with beautiful dreams for the future and quiet hopes of a better life. From where I stand now, I see enough of the road to understand how it must be traveled. The trick is to keep moving forward; to let go of the fear and regret that slow us down and keep us from enjoying a journey that will be over too soon.

Until then, I'll spend my time trying to take Spanish exams with tide-to-go pens, singing drunk Alanis Morisette karaoke, watching Discovery Channel documentaries about the sex lives of the tyrannosaurus, purchasing survival guides for landlocked mermaids, and waking up in the morning not feeling like P. Diddy. (Thanks for reminding me of my mediocrity every five minutes, Ke$ha.)

Soul Pancake is a lovely website created by Rainn Wilson created to answer life's little (and sometimes big) questions. Since I spend most of my time observing, I figured I'd break my silence and chew on a few of them.

On Repeat List; three songs you could listen to again and again and still absolutely love.
1. Mat Kearney - Closer to Love
2. Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories - Stay
3. Jason Mraz - A Beautiful Mess

Lost List; three things you've lost that you know you'll never get back.
1. My goldfish Frankie. Rest in peace. I'll always love you most.
2. A third of my favorite socks. My dryer is a hungry monster with no remorse.
3. A small fraction of my dignity and a large fragment of my sanity.

Unlike Most; three incredibly idiosyncratic ways in which you are not like everybody else.
1. I spend more money on Starbucks in a month than most people do annually and remain completely shameless.
2. When the automatic sensors on sink faucets don't recognize my hands, I start to wonder if I'm a ghost.
3. I wrote a poem about a mustache and an avocado tree at 4:12 am last night. Just saying.

Childlike Wonder; three children's books that every adult should read.
1. The Missing Piece Meets the Big O by Shel Silverstein
2. Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
3. Wayside School is Falling Down by Louis Sachar

Unanswered List; three questions you hate not having answers to.
1. How much longer do I have to wait for a massive zombie outbreak to occur?
2. Why did Britney Spears shave her head?
3. If I can build a birdhouse, why can't I build a bridge?

Change List; if a revolution took place in your mind and heart, what three sentiments would it entail?
1. Make a humble effort to bring Pluto back into our solar system. (You're still in our hearts.)
2. I will embrace, adopt, and be love.
3. Stop making lists. Start doing things.

A Glimpse at Year 2042

2010-02-07T20:34:00.000-08:00

As of 9:39 this morning, there are 6,802,400,000 living human beings in this universe. According to the U.S. Census Bureau ,304,059,724 of those reside in America. There are over 200 languages spoken in the United States alone. According to new government predictions, "white" will no longer be the majority by the year 2042. But what is "majority", really?

According to Webster, majority is defined by a number or percentage equaling more than half of a total. Is it really fair to assume a "majority" even exists in a world with more than three hundred million breathing, thinking, unique individuals living in it?

Unfortunately as a society we spend way too much time focusing on our differences. The sun is the center of our solar system. There are billions of stars just like our sun all over the universe. The sun's energy travels all the way to our little planet called Earth. There are millions of beings on Earth who work, play, dream, and create every day. The sun's energy grows the plant life on our planet. Then, the hundreds of different species of animals on this earth eat the plants. Then, the human beings eat the animals. (Unless you chose the vegetarian lifestyle like yours truly, then you just eat the plants.)

Therefore; we are all made of stars. Watching yourself in the mirror, looking at a stranger passing you by, or peering into the eyes of a loved one isn't that unlike watching the stars shine in the sky at night. Love your neighbor, a stranger, this planet, and the entire universe like you love yourself. Everything is one. If we can start to conceptualize and accept that the pigments that make up the color of our skin and the meaningless labels we assign other people are just that; meaningless, we might finally begin to see what this life is really about.

We're all in the same boat; try rowing together. Stay fresh.

(PS: Vegan marshmallows were used in the creation of the photograph above. No animals were hurt in the making of this blog entry.)

Defining; Idealism

2010-01-11T23:35:00.000-08:00

According to my good friend Webster, an idea is something, such as a thought or conception, that potentially or actually exists in the mind as a product of mental activity, and can also be referred to as an opinion, conviction, or principle. Forming your own ideas and perceptions is an important part of personal growth, especially politically speaking. Whether the subject at hand is health care reform, gay marriage, your stance on abortion, or even identifying which political party you plan on identifying with, things can get messy. Just in case any of your minds have been cluttered by ridiculous remarks from certain Illinois governors or a certain former Alaskan governors' inability to piece together a coherent sentence, I'm here to do some housecleaning.

If you're looking for a representative to interrupt and badger president Barack Obama during his address to the nation, Joe Wilson has got you covered. If you agree that smacking around your wife or killing homosexuals shouldn't count as assault, representative Louie Gohmert is your man. Or maybe you share perspectives with Mark Kirk, and agree that it's smart to tell foreign governments that the United States cannot be trusted.

If you believe that refuting scientific research by quoting biblical prophecy is a legitimate way to argue your party's point of view, representative John Shimkus and you have something in common. If you're a woman who is under the impression that wives should be submissive to their husbands, representative Michelle Bachamann agrees. And maybe you'll agree with representative Randy Forbes, who is currently fighting to pass a law which will establish the bible as the word of god for all Americans.

Are you a fan of political framing? Representative Bill Sali is, considering his tendency to scare women with a false link between abortion and breast cancer. Do you believe that enforcing stiffer penalties for anti-gay violence would somehow result in a threat to your personal freedom? Representative Louie Gohmert does, the same man who encourages wife smacking and hate crimes. Maybe Gohmert should sit down and have a cup of coffee with representative Steve King, who believes same sex marriage is a "purely socialist concept." Maybe those two charming men can pick up a latte for miss Lynn Jenkins, who believes that Obama's election should send America looking for a "great white hope" to save the GOP.

Or maybe you just want to push your political agenda by exploiting the fears of senior citizens, veterans, and the parents of disabled children. If so, get in touch with representatives Virginia Foxx, Steve Buyer, and Trent Franks.

What do all of these representatives have in common? I'll give you a hint. I don't get along well with elephants. All of these thoughts, concepts, and ideas came from representatives who identify with the Republican party. You should know that ideas can be like cages; they have the ability to hold us back from growing and evolving. Open your heart and mind to the possibilities of this universe, and remember - it's never too late to change your mind.

PS: Vote independent. Just sayin'.

PPS: Stay fresh.

Things I've Learned About Myself This Year

2010-01-04T22:05:00.000-08:00

Good riddance, 2009. You haven't been easy for most people. It certainly had it's fair share of setbacks (marriage equality voted against in California), challenges (the economy), and disappointments (endless wars.) But even in the roughest times, we must remember that every cloud has a silver lining. Because of all of this, 2009 has been a year full of lessons, and opportunities for growth.

In 2009, I learned;
- How to sleep alone in a king size bed.
- I don't believe in heroes, but I believe in friends.
- I throw words like "love" and "hate" around like confetti.
- Money cant buy happiness, but it can buy Starbucks, which is basically the same thing.
- Life is so short, but so is your penis.
- There is no word in the English language that rhymes with orange.
- No, you will not receive a response when you text 911 with an emergency.
- In life, I have no words. I let Britney do the talking.
- If you run, make sure you're running towards something. Never away.
- When your legs get tired, walk with your heart.
- I may never learn to properly use a semicolon. (And I'm okay with that.)

Things will be okay. There's a lesson in every speed bump that you encounter. Live abundantly, and always remember that you are loved. Stay fresh.

Where The Wild Things Are.

2009-12-31T19:05:00.000-08:00

In the words of E.E. Cummings; to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

Everyone has places they run to to help them discover more about the world they live in. Everyone feels misunderstood at times. Well what if I told you that you could escape? What if I told you that I know all the secrets to the world? What if I told you that I knew how to make all the creatures in our universe coexist?

What if I said that I could invent a sadness shield that kept away all the loneliness in the world, and it was big enough for everyone to hide behind? What if I said I could build us all a fort that was part castle, part mountain, and part ship? We'll have a laboratory where we can build robots who will speak our own language. Then we'll build machines that will take our legs off so we can float with the clouds and birds. We'll hold on to our dreams and live like kings like our days will never end. And we'll always remember that we can grow flowers from where dirt used to be.

What if I told you that this place was right in your backyard? I am where the wild things are. You are only as powerless as you let yourself be. Love without reservation. Live without regret. And forgive without cause.

Stay fresh, and let the rumpus begin!

Ever After Happily

2009-12-27T14:09:00.000-08:00

It might take one to know one, but it takes two to tango. Thankfully I'm planning on doing quite a bit of dancing with you in the future. Love is a cosmic phenomenon, and every day and every night, I'm still discovering you. When you're not here, I'm not whole. My bed feels empty. My heart is heavy. And I miss you.

Love is stronger than anything presented in the bible. I've always worn my heart on my sleeve like it was the new fashion, and for that, this organ deserves a vacation. It's consecutively unanimously voted my body's employee of the month. Thank for for giving me safety, security, and love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming love. There might not be dancing birds or mice making wedding dresses, but nevertheless, we'll float on ever after happily.

You are so much sunshine to the square inch, and I appreciate every inch of you. Your chromosomes have combined beautifully. You are a strange and magnificent creature, and you have enchanted me completely. You're the fucking best and I'm thankful that every night I get to cuddle the fuck out of you and remind you that I'm your biggest fan. I love waking up to you in the morning. I know we've woken up to a number of different people in our lifetime, but everyday you wake up next to me and I love it. Because I love you more than I love sour cream and avocados. I love you more than Starbucks and the color purple. I love you. Thank you for being.

Empire State of Mind

2009-12-22T22:30:00.000-08:00

When you stand at the edge of your proverbial cliff, ready to take a step into the unknown, you get that feeling. You know the one; a generous helping of anxious anticipation and nervous trepidation in the pit of your stomach. It's as if the promise and peril of the moment gives you a simultaneous rush of adrenaline, terror, and energy. My being has learned to thrive off of this feeling, and I felt it in every inch of my body from the very second I stepped off the plane.

It's no secret that the entire universe is constantly changing. That being said, this also means that the beings who belong to this universe are in a constant, whether it be physical or nonphysical, state of change. As you're reading this, your body is changing. Cells are dying and new cells are being born. Your hair is growing and your skin is shedding. On a nonphysical level, we fluctuate as well. We have new thoughts, grow new beliefs, and learn new things. In theory, we're always evolving. I can acknowledge that after spending nineteen years in a small town in Ohio that my rate of evolution has slowed. But somehow, New York City managed to breathe new life into my tired body. I don’t want to do the same things every day. I don’t want to have the same thoughts, over and over again. I want to step out on a limb. I want to risk a fall. If I do stumble, I want to embrace the experience and learn from my challenges. I want to be free from the ghosts, echoes and prisons of repetitive living.

New York is a beautiful city. Four days and three nights made me realize that maybe there really is only so much you can learn in one place, and it also made me realize how much time I've been wasting. Whether it be the fast pace, the brilliant lights, or the convenience of a Starbucks on every block, but I had never felt such a strong sense of belonging. While looking out sixty seven floors over the city, my dreams felt so small and so reachable. The stars were at my fingertips and all the schedules, obstacles, and barricades in the world wouldn't dare stand in my way.

Somewhere between 5th Avenue and Broadway, after rummaging through the Museum of Sex and the Empire State Building, I remembered that not all those who wander are lost. I'm finding my way just fine and my dreams have never shone brighter.

Think dangerously. Love generously. Live righteously. Stay fresh.

What are you thankful for?

2009-12-02T15:50:00.000-08:00

"The butterfly counts not months, but moments, and has time enough. Time is a wealth of change; but the clock in its parody makes it mere change and no wealth. Let your life dance on the edges of time like dew on the tip of a leaf." - Rabindranath Tagore

I've learned many things in 2009, but more than anything else, I've learned about time. Time is tricky. We live in a society where almost every minute of our day is accounted for by some activity or to-do list that needs to be accomplished. I've learned to stop making lists and start doing things. Instead of looking at the things you couldn't fit in, look at what you experienced. What makes something a priority? Instead of living my day according to what I "have" to do, I create my day according to who I want to be as my guiding star. I am abundant. I am generous. I am worthy. I am thankful.

I am thankful for my pillow. You are my rock. I know that when the world is crashing down, you'll always be waiting at home for me with a soft cushion to rest my reckless thoughts. I am thankful for Starbucks for keeping the blood flowing throughout my veins. My existence wouldn't be likely without you. I am thankful for my MacBook and my Blackberry. Although my devices do not own me, they make this game of charades I've been living the past eleven months a whole lot easier. Thank you for making me an efficient human being.

I am thankful for my boyfriend who makes my heart beat out of my ribcage. If my heart was a compass you'd be north, and if my heart was a house, you'd be home. I am thankful for the sky, the clouds, the sand, and the grass. They make it possible for me to see, play, climb, create, and dream. I am thankful for the past. It's a constant reminder that the most broken, abused hearts can heal. I am thankful for heartbreak for keeping me grounded, and the almighty force that is love that keeps me dreaming. I dare you to dream the way I believe.

I am thankful for my ability to think dangerously, love generously, live righteously, and stay fresh. Gratitude is powerful; the world would be a much better place if there were more of it floating around in the universe. What are you thankful for?

Speaking Out

2009-11-21T22:46:00.000-08:00

In first grade, Mrs. Noftz had written her classroom rules on colored construction paper, which I remember hanging down from the ceiling with string and paper clips. The only one I can remember now is "everyone must feel safe." If we're not careful, humans can be the most dangerous creatures on earth. Without thinking twice, your words can cut like the world's sharpest knife. The things we say hold a much deeper significance than we realize and very seldom are words taken at face value. They're often dissected and put under a magnifying glass to discover exactly what a particular comment really meant. However, it doesn't take a magnifying glass to discover just how violent our pop culture has become the past few years. Two of the biggest headlines the past few months were singer Chris Brown's domestic violence charges against his then girlfriend Rihanna, and rapper Will.I.Am's highly publicized brawl with gossip-blogger Perez Hilton for calling him a "faggot" after leaving a nightclub.

As humans, we are very quick to try and prove our superiority over the animal kingdom. We're always trying to think of ourselves outside of the physical form and as an emotional and intellectual being, rather than strictly physical. Think about how many times have you heard the phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." As we grow, we learn first hand that this mentality is a completely fabricated. One word can completely change a person's life for better or worse. Personally, I believe when you hurt someone in an emotional way, you're taking away their humanity. It's completely animalistic to cut someone so deeply with words that you probably will never think twice about. Maybe you should think twice.

Hate speech is everywhere. Words are powerful. Ask yourself - do your words help or hinder? Speak truths that will change your life and hep to transform the lives of the people around you. "Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Batteries Not Included

2009-11-15T13:22:00.000-08:00

There are manuals for everything; how to program your HDTV, microwave a chicken burrito, or clean the lint-trap on your dryer. But what about the things we actually need instructions for? Where is the fail-safe manual for love? Or the idiot's guide to living on your own? Sure, Miley Cyrus suggests that life is about "the climb," and it's not about where we're going, but how we're going to get there. Maybe as humans it's our job to just figure it out as we go along, or in other words fall on or face until we get it right, but I happen to think that maybe we should start putting together a step by step manual on just how to efficiently exist in today's universe.

Congratulations! You are the owner of owner of one human being: body, mind, and spirit. the contentment of this human being is very important, for contentment can lead to great happiness and joy. This manual contains instructions, tips, and guidelines for proper care and feeding of your being. Click here for the visual aid that accompanies the following set of directions.

Love is an abundant yet pricey material. Give it generously and freely, but give it wisely.
Constantly be improving yourself. There's no better way to waste your life than stagnation.
Never give yourself the opportunity to say "I should have done that yesterday." Do it today.
Emotions are dumped upon you by your heart. Deal with them as they come, but don't let them burry you.
Don't give in to arbitrary restrictions... unless it's illegal.
Wear underwear that you really like. Feel good from the inside, out.
The world can not and will not revolve around you. Learn to revolve with it.
Don't cushion your being too much.too much, nor ignore pain, for there is growth in difficulty.
Number 9 is to be left blank. it is for your thought and only your thought. never write in this space because eventually your thought will inevitably change. Everything is fine, not final.
Think dangerously. Love generously. Live righteously. Stay fresh.

Dear John Mayer,

2009-11-10T23:21:00.000-08:00

You're a tool. And I mean that with every fiber of my being.

To say that I'm shocked would be a fabrication. This past week, the people of Maine voted to pass two propositions; one to expand existing medical marijuana allowances and a second to repeal the state law providing marriage rights to gays and lesbians. Basically, the first proposition makes it easier for you to qualify for medical marijuana, and the second makes it harder for you to achieve what we had all deserved since the day we were born; equal rights. But what does this have to do with John Mayer, you ask?

On November 3rd, Mr. Mayer spoke out on the issue via Twitter. Instead of lending his support or saying anything moderately productive, he decided to post a series of humiliatingly unfunny jokes about how supporters and opposers of equal rights should "band together" in effort to appreciate Maine for the creation of the clothing store L.L. Bean. Not only is this promoting the idealism that voting isn't a serious issue we should all be concerned about, it's promoting the regression of the entire equal rights movement. Who the fuck is John Mayer to joke about human beings having their rights ripped away from them? Someone might want to cue the sitcom laugh track because I'm confident that no one's laughing with you.

But thankfully John Mayer decided to lend his support in other areas, being that his new single is all about getting stoned. I'm sure he'll feel a sense of accomplishment once he hears the news. Unfortunately, it's because of people like John Mayer that the gay community is getting our sense of accomplishment revoked from us time and time again. But much to his dismay, as a community; we're not "waiting for the world to change." We're making history. There's not a hurdle we can't jump, there's not a barrier we can't destroy, and there's not a bridge we can't burn.

John Mayer, amongst many other things, you're a douchebag pacifist who wastes their time singing borderline pedophiliac songs about father-daughter relationships. And if you're curious, no, I don't hate John Mayer. I feel sorry for him. The day he wakes up and realizes that he'll always be a dollar store generic Jason Mraz rip-off is the day that he'll need all the "medical marijuana" Maine has to offer.

Yours Truly,
Chad Wuzzy

Questions & Answers Part 3

2009-11-07T01:03:00.000-08:00

1. If your life was a reality show, what would the theme song be?
I would probably chose something along the lines of the Doug intro. Or maybe something along the lines of brother Cousin Skeeter's theme. I think both paint a pretty accurate portrait of my day to day life.

2. What's your current jam?

Strawberry. I was never really a big fan of grape, unless we're specifically talking about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Raspberry and apricot are also big winners. But after lunch, I've been spending my time dancing alone to Shakira and Weezy's "Give It Up To Me" and Ying Yang Twin's "Drop That Monkey." Taylor Swift's "Jump Then Fall" is pulling at my heart strings lately, as well.

3. What's your favorite liquid?

I'm sure when Matthew asked me this question, he imagined i'd insert some type of sexual innuendo here. You should probably know by now I'm not that easy.

Anyone who knows anything about me knows I count on coffee the same way our ecosystem counts on the rising sun to function properly. And over the years, my heart has grown quite attached to tea, specifically chai, green, or passion tea. If Planet Smoothie's Road Runner was a person, I'd marry it. I've also known to be a sucker for vodka and red bull from time to time.

4. What is your favorite kids book?

Literature has always played a starring role in my life. Growing up, instead of playing with action figures and squirt guns, I opted for crayons and any book I could get my hands on. After my mom would tuck me in at night, I'd spend hours under my covers with a flashlight reading whatever I could get my hands on.

My all time favorite would have to be Goodnight Moon. I read it to my mom every night before bed as a kid, and still find comfort in it on lonely nights. I also loved Wayside School is Falling Down, Harry The Poisonous Centipede, and The Giving Tree.

5. How do you feel about holding grudges?
Everyday is a clean slate. When I let my mind rest at night, I let my eyelids wash away any negativity that might have gathered there throughout the day. People are people; sometimes sometimes they say things they don't mean, sometimes they change their minds,and sometimes it just doesn't work anymore. I acknowledge that no matter how hard you try, sometimes burning bridges can keep you from letting someone back into your life in the same light they used to be. I say; don't hold a grudge, try my hand instead.

6. What music changed your life?
Three words. "Achey Breaky Heart."

7. Do you want to have children?
Completely. I'd love to pass down what I know and everything I've learned to another being, and watch as they start to develop their own ideals and opinions. I have a strict strategy to test when/if I'm ready for kids. I'm starting with plants. Hopefully with enough love, dedication, and effort, I can keep my plants alive. Maybe someday I can move on to a bigger responsibility, like a goldfish or even a puppy, but until then, I'll continue reading Shel Silverstien poems to my three window plants.

8. If you were Waldo, where would you hide?
If I were Waldo, I'd either make friends with Houdini, or buy another shirt. If I could be hiding anywhere in the world right now, I'd be tangled in between the sheets of a warm bed on an island far away from obligation, deadlines, and schedules.

9. Are you single?
No. My boyfriend makes me feel like I'm on top of the world, and I know my heart is very safe in his hands. I less than three you.

10. What do you wish to be remembered for?
I hope the Eulogy goes:

He lived poetically,
He loved romantically,
He laughed authentically,
And he cried unapologetically.

I <4 You.

2009-11-03T19:14:00.000-08:00

Back in the '50s, you weren't officially "going steady" until the girl got the guy's class ring. In the 80's, things didn't get serious unless a couple traded in their class rings for wedding rings. In the Sicilian countryside, the wedding doesn't even count unless it's consummated with the stain of conjugal bedsheets. Fast forward to the 21st century, and a relationship isn't official until the couple's Facebook status changes. These are all examples of the outwards signs of a relationship's reality.

I've always built walls around my heart to keep out intruders and to ward off those who I'd be stupid to trust. Walls can crumble. Sometimes, not even the neon "Beware of Dog" sign can scare visitors away. This is where my sanity gives in, and love begins.

I know it's alright for these walls to crumble when the blindness of love starts to fade, and all the flaws you've been so hesitant to see are clear as day. I am motivated at all times by three internal forces; a rational brain, an emotional heart, and a completely wreckless set of genitals. And I know it's okay for these walls to crumble, because it's pretty difficult to capture and maintain the simultaneous attention of all three.

It's easy. A relationship is "for real" when it's no longer imagined. When all of the scenarios you've dreamt up in your creative mind unfold before your eyes, you know it's real. To me, these moments mean more than any class ring or Facebook status ever could.

Everything is illuminated.

2009-11-01T23:36:00.000-08:00

As the leaves are turning, bridges are burning. The world is spinning faster and faster everyday, and even though I'd like to slow it down and gain control of the wheel, it keeps spinning like a carousel. Every night I cheat myself out of more and more sleep. Insomnia is a special kind of torture. While the world is fast asleep, lost somewhere in dreams of unicorns and far away lands, you're up all alone; every thought in the universe buzzing around your brain. And sometimes the thoughts will reach a standstill, and your mind goes blank. You become more aware of the silence. And it's during these moments that you realize how alone you are.

Lately I've been uncovering many beautiful, significant moments in my college career, for example giving impromptu speeches on the benefits of owning a disco stick, and contradictory essays about the negative effects excessive coffee-drinking has on one's brain. Or maybe we could mention the less than flattering score on my Algebra midterm, and perhaps even the growing number of zeros that seem to be accumulating in my Academic Writing course.

I propose a change. I say that if a college student is expected to spend (at the very least) $100 per textbook, they should be designed to fit our specific needs. For example, I'd appreciate it if my Spanish textbook were built like one of those interactive farm animal children's books you can buy in the toys section of any department store. For instance, instead of hearing "moo" when you press on the cow, you'll hear "mochila" when you select the backpack. Or how about adapting College Algebra into more of a chose-your-own-adventure type format. Therefore the possibilities would be endless, and I'd finally pass a math exam. (Plus, drawing the infinity symbol is so much fun.)

Recently I was presented with a mindblowing opportunity. In April of next year, I will be packing away my bow tie collection and boarding a flight to Paris to rub shoulders with the likes of CNN, People Magazine, and US Weekly. I'm completely thrilled with every chance I'm provided with to get my feet wet in the journalism department, and this truly is an unbelievably perfect way to dive right in. (Hopefully without the assistance of floaties.) Stay fresh, kiddos.

Chad Wuzzy's Tips on Staying Fresh

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Continue to learn.
Appreciate everything.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.

Yours,
Chad Wuzzy

Not all those who wander are lost.

2009-10-28T18:46:00.000-07:00

This morning I stumbled across an article in The Register about a group of so-called "Halloween Haters." Throughout the piece, different people spoke out against the various reasons they didn't like the holiday. Personally, I think adults have a lot more to learn from Halloween than kids do.

The world needs to stop taking itself so seriously. Put on a goofy pair of sunglasses and a fake mustache. Try on an unfamiliar hat or a new uniform for the day and see life through someone else's eyes. Gain perspective. Regain your childlike wonder and delight in the universe. There's so much more to life than big paychecks and fancy cars. Every night you fall asleep under a beautiful diamond sky. Every morning you wake up to a breathtakingly radiant sunrise. There's innocence, adventure, and beauty all around you.

Carve shapes, phrases, and patterns into pumpkins with someone you love. Go see a horror movie and beg a friend to spend the night with you because you're too afraid to sleep alone. Turn off all the lights in your bedroom and make shadow puppets dance on your walls. Think dangerously. Love generously. Live righteously. Stay fresh.

Questions & Answers Part 2

2009-10-20T02:09:00.000-07:00

1. Have you ever been a victim of a hate crime?
Unfortunately, almost every single person in the LGBTQ community has had to endure some kind of discrimination. Thankfully, I've been lucky enough to have the most supportive friends in the world that helped me overcome any hurdle I've had to jump. To answer this question more specifically, no. I've had to deal with harassment from peers, instructors, managers, and other figures I've encountered, but I'm one of the lucky few who haven't experienced a hate crime first hand.

2. What's your favorite recipe?
Anyone who is willing to make me grilled avocado quesadillas, fresh guacamole, spinach and artichoke pizza, or raw strawberry cheesecake has my heart on lock.

3. What do you like about your community?

As a resident, I appreciate my community for it's sincerity, and for being completely unapologetic. Most of my neighbors are loud, quirky, and havoc-reeking ,which as you can imagine, creates a pretty humbling atmosphere. I think a day came where we all just accepted each other's insanity and decided to just let it be. As an activist, I take so much pride in the gay community for it's dedication, strength, and perseverance. As a whole, we've gone through a lot these past few years. Instead of being discouraged and accepting our current situation as a death sentence and instead taking steps towards achieving the reality we've deserved for years and years now.

4. If you had to be deprived one of your senses, which would it be?

I think as humans, we all make the mistake of taking our senses for granted. Since they're attributes we were born with, we believe we're entitled to them. It's so easy to forget that some people will never be lucky enough to witness how beautifully the sidewalks can glitter under the midnight streetlights, or the smell of a fresh rain on any given Sunday in April.

I think there'd be an interesting lesson in losing any of your senses, but I think the most interesting experience would be losing your hearing. I admire the courage and strength that the hearing impaired showcase every single day. I've also always been pretty interested in picking up sign language. Sure, I'd have to get used to living a life without Mat Kearney, Owl City, and Taylor Swift, but I'm sure the lessons I'd learn in exchange would be priceless.

5. What's your favorite position?

Personally, I'm a big fan of the rusty bike pump, congress of the crow, and getting down with 3P. But in all seriousness, in the words of the legendary Miss Britney Bitch Jesus Spears, "If I get on top, you're gonna lose your mind."

6. Do you dream in color?
Yes. Sometimes I feel as though I dream in colors that haven't even been created yet. There are some nights I dream of the most vibrant, electrifying shades of yellow. Other nights I dream in the most dreary, lifeless shades of brown and grey. Some mornings I wake up and rush to my window to see if the sky could possibly be as breathtaking as the one I had seen before I opened my eyes. The answer is always yes. I dare you to dream the way I believe.

7. Do you have any advice for Obama?
Sure. Forgive all the nations for whatever they did that’s keeping our missiles, tanks and soldiers armed and in combat. Lead the world into a new direction of peace by demonstrating a powerful example of humanity, heart, and compassion. Apologize to all those invested in oil and nuclear power and invite them to join in the building of a new efficient clean earth.

Hey, why does healthcare reform have to be such a hot, complicated mess? Universal health care for the win.

Oh, and build more schools, increase the number of Arts programs, and pay the teachers anything they want. Also, make everyday “Casual Friday.“ I would remove guns from personal/protective use. Even hunters would have to get creative and use spit balls or something, as guns would no longer be allowed for their sport. The next thing I would do with all the money saved on not making weapons, is invest in education, building more schools and hiring more teachers AND raising their salaries. Do I have your vote?

8. What's your favorite body part?

I guess if I were ordering, I'd take a generous lip to bite on, a shoulder to cry on, and a pelvic bone to grind on. To go, please.

9. How do you handle setbacks?

As I've said before, I believe that there are messages from the universe all around us. If something's meant to happen, it'll happen. If not, I try to remember that it takes the dust to have it polished. I don't believe in setbacks, I believe in hurdles. Everything is fine, not final. If anything, these experiences help build character and put a little strength in your bones. Keep your chin up and remember that everything is fine.

10. What's next?
I'm going to go brush my teeth. Stay fresh.

PS: Keep questioning. Nothing will go unanswered.

PPS: You're beautiful.

Questions & Answers Part 1

2009-10-15T22:14:00.001-07:00

Hello world wide web. A couple weeks ago I asked all of my faithful followers on twitter and facebook friends to send me their toughest questions for me to answer. Nothing's off limits. If you have a question you'd like answered, leave a comment, or send me something via facebook or twitter, and I'll answer it in the next round. Have fun! Stay fresh!

1. How do you feel about Halloween?

I think Halloween should come once a month. Not because I enjoy stealing the peanut butter M&Ms out of everyone's candy collection, but because I think it's important to try on different hats, put ourselves in different shoes, and experiment with different roles. It keeps life exciting. My favorite Halloween costume was when my mom and I dressed up like characters from 101 Dalmatians. My mom makes a classy Cruella Deville. This Halloween, I'm dressing up like Buzz Lightyear. Oh, and apparently I get pretty lucky in October. When I was young I decided to grow pumpkins in our family's garden, and ended up growing these massive magical pumpkins half the size of me. At least I can say I've accomplished one cool thing so far in my nineteen years.

2. If you were Oprah, what would you give away on the "Favorite Things" episode?

A limitless Starbucks gift card, an iPod Touch (fully loaded with Britney Spears' Blackout, Mat Kearney's City of Black and White, and Jason Mraz' Gratitude EP), and 375 fortune cookies just in case you need an extra bit of guidance in your life.

3. Describe your left thigh.

Now that you mention it, my left thigh is a little bit smaller than my right. I wonder if it ever feels like the right thigh does all the hard work. Maybe I should give the right one a vacation so the left one can build up the endurance it's obviously lacking. Thanks for looking out.

4. Where's your favorite place to be?

Earth is my favorite place to be. I'm happiest when I'm traveling, and experiencing the world through different perspectives. I believe that life is like a kaleidoscope; a slight shift in circumstance, and all patterns alter. I'm happiest when I'm exploring the unknown and adventuring with the ones I love.

5. What helps you create balance in your life?

When life gets chaotic, I like to unwind with massive quantities of chai tea, candles, and yoga (preferably naked). But in all honesty, I live unapologetically as a messy, complicated, unbalanced person. I'm not a very happy camper when my life is too consumed with strict schedules and countless expectations.

6. What is your favorite word?

I love wordplay. Where you see words, I see playgrounds. I'm a big fan of bombilla, which means lightbulb in Spanish. I like how supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is appropriate in pretty much any given situation. Brouhaha is a fun word which explains my life by definition; excitement, confusion, and turmoil. And of course, there's that four letter word that starts with L and rhymes with dove that I just can't seem to get enough of.

7. What are your views on marriage?

Marriage is for straight people who live in white houses with green grass and picket fences with dogs named Rex. I believe marriage is for Christian families who have a son who gets straight A's and is quarterback of the football team who's sister plays the clarinet and piano flawlessly. If you don't know my stance on marriage by now, get familiar.

8. What is a significant moment in your life, even if it doesn't seem important?

I'm a believer in the small moments that shape your life. I still remember the first snow of 2006 like it was yesterday. It started at midnight, and my best friend and I decided to take a walk. I remember every little detail of that night. I remember how the snow glittered under the street lights and how perfect everything in that moment felt. The city was completely abandoned and completely silent. We talked about our dreams and how someday we'd live like kings somewhere warmer. I'll never forget that night. I'm not sure I'll ever feel so whole again.

9. Who in your life inspires you to be a better person?
I'm so grateful for the all of the amazing people I'm lucky enough to surround myself with. You are in my mind in between red lights, during conferences, throughout lectures, on lunch breaks, and in between sips of coffee. Always remember your brilliance. I love you to infinity and beyond.

10. What are you thankful for today?

Sparking strawberry kiwi green tea, heart shaped night lights, and that balloon boy is home safe and sound. Sweet dreams.

National Coming Out Day 2009

2009-10-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

When I'm older, I'll stop caring so much about what my hair looks like, (and stop killing the ozone layer with my excessive use of Big Sexy Hair products.) I'll stop spending $70 on designer jeans. I'll stop spending my Friday nights at trendy nightclubs. I'll stop caring about Lady Gaga's supposed extra body parts and I won't spend so much time stalking Britney Spears via twitter. But no matter how old I get, I will never stop fighting for equality. I won't be satisfied until we're living in a real democracy. My voice won't be silenced for as long as I have the power to speak, and neither should yours.

October 11 has been declared National Coming Out day for the LGBTQ community. Step out of the closet, and into the living room. You are young and free. The Human Rights Campain have put together a few resources to make the process easier. You shouldn't have to live through another day ashamed of who you are.

I was fifteen years old when I came out of the closet. My graduating class had 103 students. My high school had no more than 500 students total. It was rough growing up in a community where it seemed like everyone lived behind a white picket fence and looked at my lifestyle as some sinful deviation. Honestly, I had more issues with the faculty at Huron High School than the students. People have a tendency to say really hurtful things when presented with idealism that they haven't familiarized themselves with. Times will change and so will opinions, so keep your chin up and remember that you are strong and that you are loved.

If for nothing else, fight for the fact that a 33 year old woman in Pennsylvania has decided to marry an eighty foot carnival ride by the name of 1001 Nachts. Amy Wolfe plans on changing her surname to Weber, which happens to be the manufacturer's last name. She says she's been involved in a sexual and spiritual relationship with the ride for over ten years. Bravely, she says that even though she faces discrimination from most employers, "I'm not hurting anyone. I can't help it. It's a part of who I am." If half of the LGBTQ community could show half of the courage Miss Wolfe has showcased, we could all stand so much stronger, as a whole and individually, and recieve the rights we deserve. You are so much stronger than you know. Stay fresh.

All I ever wanted was everything.

2009-10-07T17:38:00.000-07:00

Today Jason Mraz asks, "Where have you not been speaking up? What can you give thanks for today?" I have a lot to give thanks for, but I have even more that I haven't been speaking up about. For lack of a better reason, I've been extremely busy with the internship, work, and school. But realistically, I'm not exactly sure of how to go about tackling all that I've been presented with the past few weeks.

Recently I was given the opportunity to work at a certain extremely well known newspaper in Los Angeles. After sending in my portfolio and making it into the editors top three choices, I lost the job to someone who was probably more qualified, creative, and deserving than I. Sure, I'm grateful that I was lucky enough to land in the top three, and I understand how big of a feat it was to be acknowledged at all by said newspaper. However, all the gratitude and understanding my body could gather didn't dull the string of rejection.

I want more than words can describe.

But I decided to man up, take Jay-Z's advice, and brush the dirt off my shoulder. Over the past few years I've learned that when we reach brick walls in our lives, they're not there to keep us out. They're there to test just how bad we really want to reach our goals. I don't want my dreams to be some farfetched idea that I can't achieve. I want to make them my reality.

Don't listen to the people who tell you not to look back. Go ahead. Turn around and look at all of the "disasters" you've managed to surpass. Remember all those times you told yourself that there was "no way" you could make it through something? Turn around and be proud of how far you've come as an individual. You're so much stronger than you know.

The road might not be easy, but the goal isn't to add extra years to your life; the goal is to add life to your years. Are you ready to jump?

Mat Kearney City of Black and White Tour 2009

2009-10-04T10:30:00.000-07:00

This Saturday, I spent the night having my mind blown by the singer / songwriter Mat Kearney as he stopped by Cleveland's House of Blues on the City of Black and White Tour.

His opening act, Diane Birch was a fresh breath of music air. She's quirky, confident, and soulful. Her cover of the gay club anthem "What Is Love" was absolutely brilliant and almost heart wrenching. She joined Mr. Kearney on stage for the finale for a fun cover of "Dancing In The Dark."

This was the second time I've seen Mat Kearney this year. The first was back in May when he opened for Keane. This time around as headliner, Mat made his way throughout his setlist flawlessly. My personal favorites were "All I Have," "Closer to Love," and his beautiful cover of Adele's "Chasing Pavements." The finale, "City of Black and White" was incredible. He used a vocoder to end the song, and I've never felt as many goosebumps as I did in that moment. I felt like I was swimming inside of his body and listening to the concert from inside his stomach. It was an electrifying experience I wish I could relive nightly.

If you haven't purchased your copy of The City of Black and White yet, get ready for a life changing 55 minutes. Mr. Kearney, you pull me closer to love.

What Would Love Do?

2009-09-21T13:04:00.000-07:00

We crave it. We die for it. We try to pay for it. We aspire, we miss the mark. In the unending, coiling, incessant pursuit of being right and good enough to find love and get love and give love, we forget about the very nature of love itself.

Love gets buried beneath political correctness and spirituality; behind “I” statements and neutrality; tradition, company policy, apparently healthy boundaries and self protection; and commonsense. The understandable, habitual structures of thought that keep our egos from being derailed can effectively keep love on the other side of the tracks.

Maybe before we cross-check ourselves against the rules and what’s familiar and acceptable, we should root ourselves down into a more elegant measurement of behavior: What would Love do? It’s a question that burns away the mist and the noise. It stops clocks. What would Love do? Even cynics have to pause. You can say that love doesn’t have a place in court or international relations or economics. But Love isn’t stupid. Love may make demands. Love may crumble in apology, love may weep with humility and grace. She may run into burning buildings. He may genuflect.

Love knows what’s best for every situation.
Love transcends policy and history.
Love innovates.
Love is everything we’ve been asking for.

What moments have been stolen from you?

2009-09-16T19:29:00.000-07:00

How could you be so heartless, Yeezy? Sunday night at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, Kanye West sunk to new levels of desperation and stole Taylor Swift's big moment as she accepted the award for best female video. Like the other 8.97 million viewers watching, I quickly became infuriated at the gesture; not because I cared all that much about the VMAs, but because we're all too familiar with how horrible it feels to have moments stolen from us. Everyone's experienced it to a certain degree.

Besides the eight year joke that was the George W. Bush presidency, I feel that one thing that has been stolen from me in my lifetime was a childhood. The concept of divorce is a very human one. People make mistakes. People change their minds. But this doesn't excuse the great pain it inflicts on everyone involved in the situation. There's no one there waiting with a flashlight to hold your hand and guide you through the divorce fog that ensues for years and years after the decision has been made to tell you that what you're feeling is normal, and that it really wasn't your fault.

In 1996, I had already smashed through quite a few of the important milestones most six year olds are presented with. First grade was well underway and going smoothly, I was losing baby teeth left and right, and with the help of a pair of sturdy training wheels, I could peddle my red bicycle faster than any of the kids on my street. As I started learning, growing, and exploring, little did I know that behind the doors of our perfect little yellow house on Center Street, the foundations I had grown so familiar with were crumbling. One of the best things about being a child is being blind to the harsh realities the world has to offer. For the most part, things are still child proof. The rough edges and sharp corners are still lined with soft cushioning to avoid getting hurt.

The reality of the situation crept up slowly. I remember at first being excited about the divorce because from now on I'd have two bedrooms filled with twice as many toys, and all the good holidays (Christmas, Birthdays, Halloween, and Easter) would come twice a year, which would make me more special than the rest of the kids in my class. It isn't until you grow a little bit older and realize that the happiness that used to sit in a picture frame on your night stand isn't existent anymore, it's a fading memory you were too young to really appreciate. Then comes the flawed thinking that if you pick up your trusty bottle of Elmer's glue you have tucked away in your new box of school supplies, you can glue the pieces of your family back together. After you come to the realization that all the Elmer's glue in the world couldn't repair the mess you've found yourself in, you start thinking maybe you're the one who made it.

If I had a dollar for every single time a parent, relative, teacher, or complete stranger came up to me in the midst of the divorce and assured me that it wasn't my fault, I probably wouldn't be composing this entry. Instead, I'd be living like a king in some beach house in Hawaii paying a pricy psychologist to sort through my issues for me. At such a young age, it's hard to comprehend that sometimes things that used to work just stop working. Why can't a marriage work like Tickle-Me-Elmo, where if it stops working you just change the batteries? It isn't until you grow older and wiser that things become less black and white, and you start to understand that maybe the marriage that needed a battery changed never really worked to begin with. And maybe the hundreds of people who told you it wasn't really your fault were right all along.

As a nineteen year old college student, I sometimes sit and sift through boxes of old photographs and letters. The colors in the photographs have faded and the words scribbled on the sheets of paper don't hold true today, but it's a humble reminder of what I overcame as a child. I know now that love is rare, unconditional, and messy. I know now that people are human, don't come prepackaged with a changeable set of batteries, and sometimes change their minds. In return from these moments that have been stolen, I have gained a greater sense of the universe and the wealth of the world. With the right attitude, we can grow from anything. Adversity is life's greatest teacher. Thank you for making me humble, strong, grateful, and in the words of Taylor Swift herself; fearless.

Messages from the universe.

2009-09-12T12:28:00.000-07:00

I used to listen to the bad voices inside my head - not the ones that tell me to do things, but the ones that tell me not to do things. I've always been extremely aware of the signs that something was a bad idea, that there was a flaw in my equation somewhere. I used to live under the impression that if I revealed nothing to the universe and if I kept my aspirations in a bell jar underneath my bed, there's no possible way they could be crushed.

After all, letting go creates vulnerability, right? Perhaps. But if you're anything like me, (which I wouldn't be surprised, nor offended if you weren't), you're going to turn those thoughts off at some point and tune into voices of a different sort; the suggestive whispers of coincidence, your own politely ubiquitous inner urgings, and the motivational shouts of a universe that functionally needs you to become a part of it.

Warning: Your psyche, soul, and heart will inevitably take a few punches but thankfully we were designed for this. I'm completely confident that you'll wake up one morning and realize that you're exactly where you're supposed to be, and the voices that used to hold you back will be replaced by choruses singing victorious, thunderous phrases of pride and gratitude. What is the universe screaming to me?

1. Don't believe in heroes, believe in friends.
2. No one belongs here more than you.
3. Eat more guacamole.
4. No situation is permanent.
5. Move to California.

What is the universe screaming (or whispering) to you?

Dear Mr. President,

2009-09-07T20:37:00.000-07:00

Eleven months ago, most of the country (myself included) voted for change. Within the first year of your presidency, you set a fixed time for withdrawing our forces from Iraq, passed a law against gender pay discrimination, proclaimed June as LGBT Pride Month, and passed the largest economic stimulus bill in history which would eventually steer us away from the recession. By no means am I trying to discredit you or give you a run for your money. I'm writing you to propose an opportunity to form a business relationship. Think of me as the Skeeter Valentine to your Doug Funnie. The Patrick Star to your Spongebob Squarepants. The Darwin to your Elizah Thornberry.

My first act as Barack Obama's official sidekick would be changing our national anthem to "Gimme More" by Britney Spears. I feel like the message the song conveys is very true to the current state of our nation and paints a much truer picture of who we are and what we stand for. Furthermore, I believe that as sidekicks, we should single-handedly bring back the bow-tie, as well as prevent the fashion epidemic known as "crocs" from spreading any farther than it has already by outlawing their purchase or production.

On a more serious note, I believe there are a lot of positive changes we could make as a country. I've always considered myself an equal rights activist. I've spent unmeasurable time and energy standing up for racial, orientation, and gender related issues. When we were laying out the foundations of our country, it was said that America would be a giant melting pot of cultures, ethnicities, and backgrounds. I think that we need to reintroduce concepts of unity and acceptance into the new generation and remind them that we built our country based on our differences. Another important issue I don't think we're taking the right approach to is our environment, which is presently facing huge obstacles that have the potential to seriously disrupt our planet's future. I believe in order to secure our presence in this lovely universe we've been lucky enough to have find ourselves a part of, we must show appreciation and gratitude by reducing our harmful impact on the Earth.

More than anything, I hope that no government considers underestimating today's youth. We are brilliant. We are golden. The world we've created is overflowing with opportunities and adventures while our minds are vividly painted canvases, detailed with their own concepts, ideas, and beliefs. We are the future. I hope you take my offer into serious consideration, I promise I won't disappoint.

Yours Truly,

Chad Wuzzy

PS: Legalize gay marriage.

PPS: Get us the fuck out of Iraq.

Defining; Tolerance.

2009-09-06T21:03:00.000-07:00

Tolerance [tol-er-uhns] noun

a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry.
a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one's own.
interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one's own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.
the act or capacity of enduring; endurance: My tolerance of noise is limited.

It's sad to think that the general population of the twenty first century has such a difficult time with tolerance. In our current day and age, there are hundreds of different religions with their own gods and their own belief systems. Why are those who choose to be religious so angry at those of us who chose not to be and vise versa? Why has co-existence become so hard?

Last week I asked someone why I should be concerned about the possibility of burning in hell for choosing to not believe in a God that refuses to show any valid evidence of his own existence. I guess I missed the Sunday school session that explained why critical thinking was a sin. But I also explained to her how I understand the major role faith plays in millions of people's lives and that I was not trying to discredit her or any of the other people who choose to practice a certain religion. (PS: If I had a dollar for everytime some religious extremist advised me to "save myself before 2012," I'd have enough to single-handedly fund a research project which would end up disproving the theory in it's entirety.)

I'll never understand the human race's insatiable need to shove their views down the throats of those who might disagree. Think for yourself; don't let anyone fool you with false promises and exaggerated claims. At the end of the day, it's up to you to make yourself proud. Feed your head wisely. Stay fresh.

Nervous breakthroughs.

2009-09-05T01:04:00.000-07:00

Directions: Please choose the best term(s) that best completes the following statement.

Hello, my name is Chad Lyn Hensley, and I am _______.
a. Bipolar
b. Lost
c. A hot mess
d. All of the above

It's presently Saturday, 4:21 A.M. The past week has been messy, inconvenient, and beautiful. I've learned a lot from every setback and every step forward I've taken and somehow, I feel like the past seven days have changed who I am.

I'm grateful for each and every opportunity I've been given, but I can't help but miss the carefree summer when my schedule was an open as my heart. The time before baggage and breakups and exams and appointments began to way us all down. That sense of adventure still flickers inside of me. I'm hurting tonight because I know I don't have the time or means to explore it, but I'm burning to get away from this monotony.

It's now 4:37 A.M. My eyes are like anchors, eager to land on the ocean's floor, but my mind is restless. I'm thinking myself in circles. Having relationships is like traveling alone in a strange country; you don't know the language very well. The local customs are estranged. You're not quite positive what people are trying to communicate to you, much less if their intentions are good or bad. Love can hurt. Hearts can break. It's that horrible pain you feel in your heart where you feel like something is missing, but you know something's still there. It's beating and pumping, and sometimes you swear that you can feel the blood squeezing through the muscle and the tissue. I also know that love can lift you up to new breathtaking highs where you feel like you're standing on the tip of your toes on the biggest cliff the world has to offer, and somehow if a giant wind were to come and steal your balance, the new love you found would be there to provide a soft, glorious cushion for your fall.

My body, mind, and soul are ready to jump into whatever the universe has waiting for me. Blindfolded.

Made with love and crazy,

Chad Wuzzy

I'm a citizen of the world.

2009-09-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

Today I opted out of another grueling lesson in College Algebra and decided to take a walk and be completely awestruck by the natural beauty our universe radiates. Besides, I already know most of life's important equations like the back of my hand.

Problems = Obstacles = Challenges = Opportunities
E=mc²
Humanity - Religion = Less war
8:00 A.M. - Starbucks = Unhappy self
You = Me = Universe = Perfect

Consider all the things that give you a sense of awe. Whether it be a starry night, The Circus Starring Britney Spears, the view at the world's second largest aquarium, or even the back of your hand when you're high, it's important that you continue to be dazzled by all the world has to offer. Think about five experiences you've had that left you completely and totally lost for words, because if you think hard you'll realize that it was in those moments you grew the most as being in this universe.

Replace your fear of the unknown with curiosity. I say - this world extends way beyond this field of dreams we're dancing in, and I want to see that world. Live high and stay fresh.

If only college were as easy as Asher Roth suggested...

2009-08-29T23:35:00.000-07:00

After a summer of globetrotting and self discovery, reintroducing myself into a life ruled by schedules, deadlines, and appointments hasn't been an easy feat. I'm sure that we can all learn a lot more from love and experience than we'll ever learn from any overpriced textbook, overfilled classroom, or overpaid instructor.

Sure, my view on college tends to be a bit biased, but it's coming from a student who recently had to pay $100 for a College Algebra book he'd much rather line a bird cage with. That being said; this semester shouldn't be too terrible. Anytime things get messy or hectic, I think about how blessed I am to be able to afford an education, and think of the millions of people wishing they were in my shoes. Lunch breaks with Kelsey and conversations over tea and ice cream with Jimmy make the days go a little easier.

Be sure you're grateful for the things around you. Nothing in life comes with a guarantee, so let's make today count as more than another number on a calendar. Stay fresh, kiddos.

The Gratitude Cafe Tour 2009

2009-08-17T23:22:00.000-07:00

"Always leave the world better than how you found it," suggested Mr. A-Z. with pure brilliance at the Gratitude Cafe tour. The show was infested with happiness and positivity. Throughout the show, Jason and his team provoked the crowd with questions such as "who or what inspires you?", "what are you waiting for?", and "who can you give thanks to today?" One of my favorite parts of the show was when Bushwalla, the host of the show, asked the crowd to turn to a stranger and give them a high five. He explained it as a "Campbell's soup can full of love."

Jason Mraz put on a fantastic, high energy two hour show demonstrating every reason I ever fell in love with him. The show's highlights included a cute dance to go along with the feel good "Dynamo of Volition" (which spares the suggestive lyrics "I bend over and take it in the kisser." ) Jason also breathed new life into the song "Coyotes" by performing a smoother, sexier version fully equipped with a surprise opera performance from Jason during the breakdown which wowed everyone. And my personal favorite part of the show was the live rendition of the masterpiece "A Beautiful Mess." The live version of this particular song was so powerful and moving I found myself tearing up (and by tearing up, I mean sobbing) before it was over.

The entire experience was just one of the constant reminders of how beautiful life is, and a great example of the rare humbleness of the human species. I want to thank K'naan, G.Love, Bushwalla, and Jason Mraz for putting on an absolutely incredible show and spreading your message of love, peace, and harmony to the world one city at a time. Stay fresh, kiddos.

Negative Nancy vs. Positive Patricia

2009-08-16T18:36:00.000-07:00

The universe is all knowing and ever present. I've decided that I only want to radiate positive energy into this beautiful universe we're lucky enough to consider ourselves a part of. Instead of contributing anger, hate, and negativity, I'm going to respond to situations with love, peace, and gratitude.

But I am only human, and as my good friend Alexander Pope says, to err is human. If the rare occurrence would come up that I made one of these "errors," and my loving, peaceful attitude were disrupted, it might be due to my nervous breakdown inducing schedule, which consists of working thirty hours, fifteen hours of class, and ten hours of interning, and approximately twenty eight hours of sleep.

Or maybe the fact that I had to spend $90 dollars on a Spanish workbook, after spending $130 on the original textbook would be enough to put a crack in the foundation of my positive outlook. Perhaps missing Owl City's third show in Ohio this year is enough to push me over the edge. Or maybe I could blame the people who spend way too much time looking for a good parking spot. In the same amount of time you spent circling the lot four times looking for something to prevent you from walking any more than ten feet, you could've walked to and from your destination three times. (I have a friend who calls them PTPS; prime time parking spots. Enough said.)

Oh, let's not forget to mention the fact that my main priority at the Register is changing ink cartridges and fixing paper jams. I fix paper jams by sucking up to the printer and saying nice things about it so it mistakes me for a friend rather than someone trying to rip cheap computer paper out of it's intestines.

Or perhaps I could blame my negative energy on the fact that I have to dedicate afternoons to doing peer reviews for my Academic Writing course, which consist of reading four page essays about a woman who's two kids shit inside of her while she was pregnant. Never in my life did I want to know that was possible or that it happened to you. But the nail in the coffin would be the fact that everyone I love the most decided to pack their suitcases and move sixteen hundred miles away from me. I miss everyone so much, and can't help but feel rather abandoned at times.

But thankfully, as a peaceful optimist who spends his time directing love and gratitude into the world, I don't have a single complaint. Life is beautiful. Stay fresh.

All knowledge begins with wonder.

2009-08-10T02:06:00.000-07:00

A lot of people are afraid to drive without a precisely detailed map outlining every bump, twist, and fork in the road one might face. Getting lost is a very rational fear. This idealism is implemented in us as children. One of the main goals of all professors, teachers, and other scholastic faulty members is to engrain in your mind that if you study the material you're given, you'll pass whatever task is assigned to you, whether it be an essay, an exam, an equation, or some other outlet. But over the years I've learned this type of thinking is flawed, for in life, the tests come before the lessons.

As of right now, August 10, 2:06 A.M, my plan of action is packing my life into a few suitcases and moving my act to Los Angeles. I'm not sure what adventures lie ahead for me in California. I imagine it being like a whole different world filled with new faces and plentiful opportunities.

I know that this decision might seem very sudden, and I know that spontaneity is often looked down upon in the society we live in, but I am a very spiritual (not to be confused with religious) person. I recognize the signs the universe is sending to me. I feel it everywhere. I know that my time in Huron has run dry and that no matter what road I take next, it will be paved with gold. We are all golden, and the future is rich with beautiful opportunities to shine.

Live righteously. Stay fresh.

Love Story

2009-08-08T00:59:00.000-07:00

According to the United States Census Beauru's "World Clock Projection," the population of the planet we inhabit as of 4:00 A.M on August 8, 2009 is 6,776,673,914. Each and every one of those beings is an individual born with a unique set of traits that make him or her special. From these traits, it's human nature for society to magnify our differences under a microscope and dissect them. And from this dissection, labels are born. Labels were created for the nagging voice in the back of your head that needs to compartmentalize every person you meet and every experience you have.

There are two specific labels that greatly effect our daily lives and the relationships we build with others. There are some types of people who we like to label as self sufficient. From this label, it's safe to assume this person is rather independent and doesn't feel the need to seek the approval of others before they make a decision. On the contrary, there are people who we like to label as dependent. Sometimes these people need another person's approval to feel validated in their decision making.

Understandably, building a relationship with an individual who happens to fall either too far left or too far right on the spectrum can be extremely difficult. Sometimes society likes to pair the image of self-sufficiency with power and happiness, but when it comes to romantic relations, both labels have a rather negative connotation. The people who fit into the self sufficient label might come across as unreachable, pretentious, and distant, while those who fell into the dependent label might seem necessitous, insecure, and clingy.

Before you go through the mental list of ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends you keep stored with the rest of your repressed high school memories trying to place people in their proper positions, think about where you fall in the spectrum. Then study where the people you've dated fell. Is there a pattern? Do you think the people you've dated would agree with the label you've assigned yourself with? Which is worse in a relationship? A partner that can be a bit needy at times or sharing a bed with someone who has a wall you just can't seem to break down?

Personally, I like to think of myself as a rare breed who happens to adjust to his surroundings when it comes to his levels of dependency. To the world, I portray a persona of a confident nineteen year old boy who relies on himself for his well-being and tends to be unattracted to those who find themselves on the opposite side of the scale. But inside, I harbor this little ball of insecurity I've managed to swallow and suppress. Said ball finds a way of seeing the light of day once my walls of defense lower and I begin trusting the culprit I happen to be interested at the given time.

So my biggest question to you, the reader, is - does self sufficiency in a relationship really exist? Is it realistic to rely completely on oneself for true happiness? Or is Taylor Swift really on to something, and is "Love Story" just a song we had all already written in our hearts? Are we all really just lost lovers hoping to be rescued?

Thoughts? Stay fresh.

Becoming my own most reliable 3G Network.

2009-08-03T23:45:00.000-07:00

Before you proceed with reading this blog, I'd like to warn you that I'm sure it's laced with layers and layers of hypocrisy. Ignore them and continue reading, I promise I have somewhat of a point to make.

I often criticize the human race for being so superficial and always find myself encouraging the people I surround myself with to "look at the bigger picture" and to "focus on experiences." I've spent so many hours alone in my bedroom working to better the relationship I have with myself. I stare into the mirror and embrace my flaws. I dance for hours like no one's watching (even when I know someone usually is.) I fully understand and accept the fact that the material side of life has an expiration date and that getting too wrapped up into your belongings is just wasted time and energy that could've been redirected into a more efficient, creative, and long-lasting outlet.

However, I've found that I've been proven guilty of growing a bit too dependent on a device (or three) in my day. Most recently, my cell phone. Before we continue, let's briefly touch base on some personal history. Before December of 2007, I had never owned a cellular device. I decided to purchase the first edition of the LG ENV when it was first released. I've had nothing but love for the phone the past nineteen months, but recently, I had found myself growing more and more frustrated by the easily flawed piece of technology.

Other than the fact that on average, I carelessly drop my phone at least 3 times a day and have a tendency to text in the shower, I think I'm pretty respectful and careful with my phone. No major mistreatment. Yesterday morning when I decide to send the day's first text message, I notice that the entire right side of my keypad isn't responding to any of the keys I'm hitting. I found myself getting angrier by the second and hitting the keys as hard as my fingers would allow and yet the the message box remained blank. So I decide that it's necessary for me to pay the Verizon store a visit, and go to call a friend to see if they would enjoy accompanying me. Unfortunately, I could hear her, but she couldn't hear a word I said.

I won't get into details about my experience at the Verizon store. I would, however, like to apologize to any employees that had to feel the wrath of a loyal customer scorned by greedy salesmen and selfish corporations who have no true intent on helping people with their issues. But really, what major issue did I need help with? The fact that for a few days I might not be able to send a few friends text messages just to ensure they didn't forget my existence? Or was the thought of not being able to update my twitter via mobile device too earth shattering to consider?

At the end of the day, I'll always temper my rage with wisdom.

Oh, and thanks to Verizon's office in Kentucky for being so attentive and mailing me a replacement the very same day, and thank you to the UPS truck driver who graciously delivered the package to my doorstep. You're a life saver.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-07-29T23:25:00.000-07:00

I like to consider myself a genuinely unselfish person. I donate to charity, volunteer, and recycle. Everyone knows I'd do almost anything to better someone else's circumstances. However, one day a year, I take full advantage of my own personal holiday and indulge in extreme selfishness.

Stephanie, Kristen, and I spent the day in Columbus at the Easton shopping center. I had my first experience at the Melting Pot, which was absolutely delicious. If "eat fondue" wasn't on my hundred things to do before I die list, I'm going to have to add it, and then scratch it off. I'm really unsure sure how I've lived the past 228 months without knowing how delicious fondue is. We also had a cute experience at the Cheesecake Factory. I had a very indulgent slice of peanut butter and chocolate cheesecake, accompanied by a loud, attention grabbing rendition of "Happy Birthday" sang by the Cheesecake Factory crew.

Given that I might as well have requested the entire week off from my tediously repetitive job, I've been blessed with an opportunity to sit and reflect on the past, present, and future. I'm so excited to see what the next twelve months have to teach me, and to look back at where I was a year prior, and appreciate the beauty of growth, evolution, and change.

Life is beautiful. Stay fresh.

I don't believe in heroes but I believe in friends.

2009-07-27T14:31:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big fan of birthdays. Sure, presents are nice, and I think it's important to celebrate the anniversary of how long your body's spent taking up space in this world, but I'm a firm believer that sprits never die. The vessel they use to experience the world just changes. This birthday in particular was kind of eye-opening. One of the only reasons birthdays are exciting is because each year you get closer and closer to a different milestone. Now that I'm turning nineteen, the only milestone left for me to hit is 21, which is often the symbolic entry into adulthood.

I know that each moment and every step is worth celebrating. But I'm very thankful that so many of my amazing friends came out to celebrate the past nineteen years I've been asking too many questions and sticking things where I was told they just didn't belong.

Keep shining. Stay fresh.

Up, up, and away.

2009-07-22T17:16:00.000-07:00

As an optimist and full-time seeker of truth, I'm known to wear my heart on my sleeve like it's the new fashion. Tonight shall be no exception. I feel like lately there are subject matters I've been trying to avoid addressing, but that's not my style whatsoever. So, I thought I'd lay all of my cards out on the table and talk about a few things that have been attacking my train of thought lately.

I love the life I've found in Ohio with every ounce of passion running through my blood stream. I'm eternally grateful for every friend, companion, lover, and enemy I've grown to know the past eighteen years and eleven (and a half) months. I am thankful to everyone for the enormous gifts you've given me. You give me life. You give me hope. However, I'd be lying if I tried to tell you I don't feel caged. I've created a beautiful reality for myself that I love living, but this trashy apartment (with a recently discovered spider problem and new obnoxiously overbearing neighbors) isn't home to me anymore; they're four walls I pay way too much rent to reside in.

Due to contracts, a lease in which I unknowingly signed away my life, scholastic obligations, and a severe lack of wealth, I can't help but feel caged. At times it seems like my wrists, ankles, and wings have been locked in shackles I can't break through. I'd also be lying if I told you that every minute of everyday I'm not trying to piece together a new route to escape this exhaustingly monotonous lifestyle I've mistakenly fallen into. Monday morning I attended a meeting with my academic advisor, my Journalism/English 275 instructor, and an editor of the Sandusky Register to discuss my path and just how I should go about paving it.

It was this morning, during this meeting, I decided my future was in one of three places; Chicago, Columbus, or Los Angeles. Understand that narrowing my possibilities this greatly was a huge hurdle to jump. More than anything, I'm an indecisive pacifist when it comes to making these types of decisions, hence why I remain where I've always been.

I hate for anyone who reads this to associate me with any kind of hypocrisy, but please proceed with an open mind. I consider myself a very spiritual person. I don't believe in organized religion, or your definition of a God for that matter, but I do believe in the powers of our beautiful universe. I believe in dreams and I believe in instinct. I know my body and mind very well, we spend an awful lot of time together, and I know that now, more than ever, my body's time clock is impatiently ticking. It's time for me to jump and trust that the net will appear.

Ultimately, I wanted to let all of you, whom I owe so much more than these pitifully thrown together words, know that I don't know where I'm going, but sooner, rather than later, I'm going to need a shoulder to help with my suitcases and maybe a steady hand to help me draw a map or two. You've given me more than I could imagine asking for, and I only hope someday to return these precious gifts you've ingrained in my fiber. You'll always be the brightest stars in my constellation, and I'll never take a second of the time we spent together for granted.

Made with love and crazy,

Chad Wuzzy

Note to self; sleep with a GPS system handy.

2009-07-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

Life has a funny way of telling you exactly where it wants you to go.

I woke up this morning in a panic over what I had just remembered. I jumped out of bed, grabbed my camera, and went to review my collection of photos. Unfortunately, after checking the memory card time and time again, what I had been looking for was nowhere to be found. Last night, I had the most beautiful, vivid dream I've ever had. I want to remember it forever. I want to live it.

In said dream, I was driving in a retro Oldsmobile down the skinniest one way road I'd ever seen. I remember the heat's intensity, but I remember being completely comfortable, and totally unbothered by it. The sun's violent beams had started to melt the road, which happened to be covered with millions of giant sunflowers. I remember looking into the sky and thinking that the clouds had turned black before realizing that they weren't clouds at all; they were swarms of bumble bees forming shapes and buzzing beautifully. I remember being unfazed by this, too because I knew I was going the right way. I knew that no matter what, the melting, winding road covered in giant sunflowers would take me exactly where I was supposed to be. I remember feeling so content and so ready for whatever was supposed to happen next.

I remember specifically grabbing my camera, which was my only companion in the car other than a small beat up suitcase, out of the passenger's seat and capturing each and every detail of the scene as it unfolded before my eyes. And it was one of life's biggest disappointments when said photos were unavailable for my conscious mind this morning.

I'm not sure exactly what I want from life at the moment, but I know more than anything, I'm completely and totally restless. Ohio has been beautiful to me the past eighteen years and eleven months, but I can't help but yearn for something more. My hungry eyes and passionate heart have exploring to do this year. I'm not going to let anything stand in my way.

I want to thank whatever power is responsible for the reassurance it's given me with this dream. Whether it be a food company for putting a particular ingredient in something I ate before bed which might have triggered my subconscious, or a certain musician for composing material that decided to permanently reside in my brain, thank you for providing me with the hope I've been desperately longing for.

PS: According to The Dreamer's Dictionary for the 21st Century, sunflowers symbolize warmth, abundance, longevity, and prosperity. The sunflower also serves to point you in the right direction and is a source of spiritual guidance. Even through difficult times, you will persevere.

Jay Brannan - I Suck At Life Tour 2009

2009-07-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

"I believe the world would be a better, more peaceful place if we all had more orgasms" is probably one of the most truthful, beautifully pieced together sentences my brain has ever registered. I just traveled to Columbus to see the author of said prophecy, Jay Brannan, perform in support of his new album In Living Cover.

I've been to a few shows in my time, but I've never witnessed a performer so humble and so charming. Between jokes about anal beads, Ohio's fascination with corn, Madonna's lip syncing, and CCM telling him he'd never make it as an entertainer, each song was perfection. My personal favorite parts of the show were "Body's A Temple" and his lovely cover of "Straight Outta Compton," where he also incorporated "Umbrella," "Paper Planes," and Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl," accompanied by grossed-out facial expressions to suggest that he really didn't like it.

Jay was sweet enough to stick around the bar long enough to meet some of his fans and ask what they thought of the show. Luckily, I was one of these fans. I presented him with a t-shirt I made, inspired by his song "Socialite," bearing the lyrics "I tend to choke on dicks and emotions." Jay then gave me one of the biggest compliments I've ever received, and told me that I wasn't "very Ohio." He took a picture with me, signed my C.D. and thanked me for coming out. I encourage anyone who hasn't heard of Jay Brannan, to get familiar and support this amazing artist. His new album is available on iTunes for $7.99. It's worth all of your money, time, and support. Stay fresh!

PS: You can see the rest of the pictures I took from the show on Flickr.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

2009-07-13T13:23:00.000-07:00

The sun is high, but I'm higher. This mindset I'm referring to isn't one altered by any type of drug, alcohol, or substance. It originates from a place filled with bright colors, positive thoughts, and best friends. It originates from every text message at 3:00 A.M. wishing a special someone a good night's sleep. It originates from the strangers courteous enough to open a door for someone they don't know. It comes from the people who actually stop and listen to your response when asked "how are you today?" It's a place I want to take each and every one of you, if for at least a day, and share with you what it's like to be free.

Summer has been amazing. I've spent a lot of time exploring, a lot of time learning, and a lot of time loving. Sometimes it's easy to feel trapped. I've lived in Huron my entire life, which according to the United States Census has a population of 7,958. Believe me, as unlikely as it may seem, there is an adventure waiting to be had in your backyard. The same backyard you played in when you were four. The same backyard you hate mowing for extra chore money. The world is your canvas, it's up to you to decide what picture you want to paint.

I've loved the last few weeks and I'm looking forward to the next few. The No Doubt show last week was mind blowing. I'm seeing Jay Brannan on Wednesday, expect a full report and details on whether he's a top or bottom. Also, my 19th birthday is in two weeks! I hope everyone is happy and healthy. Stay fresh!

With Love,

Chad Wuzzy

Je tiens à vous exprimer notre gratitude.

2009-07-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

One of the smartest people I've ever known once told me that when my smile starts to stray, make a list of ten things I'm grateful for at the given time, and as long as I could name ten, things couldn't possibly be that terrible. He was right. :)

1. The strength our courageous sun has to rise and set continuously three hundred and sixty five days a year. Keep shining, beautiful.

2. Jay Brannan's new album, In Living Cover. Specifically, the tracks "All I Want" and "Beautifully."
3. The small bruises, cuts, burns, and boo-boos that remind us we're not invincible.
4. Text messages at 3:00 a.m. from old friends, wishing you sweet dreams.
5. Josh Kilmer-Purcell for writing I Am Not Myself These Days: A Memoir. You've brought much needed laughter (and tears) to my week.
6. Facebook, for adding an UNO application, which has consumed a massive portion of the past two weeks of my life.
7. C.O. Bigelow's lemon body wash for making me feel like royalty everytime I shower.
8. A box of letters saved from high school that serve as a reminder of just how far we've come.
9. Peanut butter and chocolate chips, for letting me mindlessly indulge in you while watching Lifetime movies at four in the morning.
10. Each and every person who made it through this list without clicking the red 'X' in the corner of your browser. You're amazing and mean the world to me.

Avec Reconnaissance,

Chad Wuzzy

An Open Letter to my Five Year Old Self

2009-07-04T11:38:00.000-07:00

To Whom It May Concern,

Hello stranger. You might be wondering who this letter's from. But honestly, it would do you some good to get your nose out of Harry the Poisonous Centipede and Wayside School Is Falling Down. As of right now, you're blissfully clueless about the road ahead of you. Do me a favor and stay blissfully unaware as long as you possibly can. I know it's hard to believe, but someday you're going to be willing to give anything up to achieve such a feeling again.

Mom and dad are going to divorce, but trust me, it's for the best. Make sure you help mom get through the next few years, they're going to be rough. Elementary school is a breeze. Make sure to explore all of your curiosities and never stop asking questions. There are plenty of people who are going to try to silence you, but keeping quiet will eventually end up being your biggest mistake.

Middle school isn't nearly as scary as you think it's going to be. Any mistake you make will never compare to Kevin Howard pooping his pants at football practice, and that's all anyone is going to remember anyways. Seventh grade you're going to learn a lot about friendship and your English teacher is going to help you discover your fascination in writing. Pursue that fascination every chance you get.

Make sure you spend as much time as your Grandma as possible. She's going to do a lot for you throughout your lifetime, and someday it might be too late to thank her for all she's done for you. Your relationship with your family is going to be rough at times, but try to spend a little less time being angry and redirect that energy into trying to be understanding and optimistic. I know it's not easy, but you'll thank me later.

Oh, and just a warning; eighth grade is going to be rough. You're going to meet a boy that messes up almost everything you know, and you're going to like it. But don't be too quick to drop your armor, because this boy is going to crush you sooner or later. Oh, and mom is going to relentlessly try to fix you up with the neighbor girl. She's going to invite her over for awkward dinners, take us to the movies, and encourage us to play computer games together. You're not going to be interested at first, but eventually she's going to become your better half, and absolute best friend.

Don't believe the hype! High school isn't nearly as important as they tell you it's going to be. You're going to learn more from the friendships you develop and the experiences you live through than any textbook you can buy. If you ever find yourself in a friendship that you find yourself constantly walking on eggshells in, save yourself time and end it. Trust me, the sooner the better. But never doubt the importance of a good friend, most of the people you invest time in will invest the same in you, and will have your back when you need them to.

There aren't enough words in the English language to prepare you for your Junior year of high school. This is the year you'll learn the most about yourself. Replace your fear of the unknown with curiosity and throw your apologies out the window, you have no need for them this year. You're going to find yourself involved in a very surprising character. Don't spend so much time questioning this boy's intentions. He's going to end up being the first boy you ever love, and you're going to look back at the time you spend together as some of the best times of your life.

You're also going to meet a girl with blonde, frizzy hair and metallic blue glasses that has a thing for t-shirts with dorky sayings. Don't let these characteristics scare you off. Eventually you're going to miss the t-shirts (secretly) and thank her for three years of amazing memories, adventures, and unconditional love.

If I know you at all, and believe me, I do, you're sitting there with a pen and paper taking notes, busy highlighting with your yellow, pink, orange, and green markers. Don't bother. The best advice I can offer you is to take things one step at a time. Your instinct hasn't led you wrong thus far, so don't spend anymore time doubting it. Measure your time with how many often you laugh rather than minutes. Leap and the net will appear. If I've learned anything, it's that life very seldom gives you the luxury of time to ponder questionable forks in the road. Live righteously and stay fresh, and somehow the rest will figure itself out.

With Love,

Chad Wuzzy

PS: Learn to swim while you're young. It gets harder with age, trust me.

Me? Radical?

2009-07-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

Recently I've discovered that a belief of mine is thought of as radical by most. (Surprise, surprise, right?) For some reason it keeps coming up in conversation and I get the same wide-eyed response every time I mention that I'd almost always rather hit a human with my car opposed to an animal.

I am by no means an animal rights activist and am not pretending to be, but I just don't understand how we live in a world where we mutate and slaughter living beings for our selfish benefit and consider horrid killing sprees (otherwise known as "hunting") a legitimate pastime.

I find it very difficult to find any hint of evil in the eyes of any animal, but this evil is very present in the eyes of many men that live in our world today. Call me radical, but I'd rather swerve to miss an innocent creature than a murderer anyday.

This is one of my new best friends. I met him at the African Wildlife Safari in Port Clinton today. I wanted to steal him and take him home with me, but I don't think he'd fit in the backseat (or in my apartment for that matter) all that comfortably. I enjoyed feeding him the last of my carrots and hope to see him again before the summer's end. Stay fresh, fellah!

Undivided.

2009-06-24T20:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes as humans we make the humble mistake of forgetting the fragility of life and the significance of the small moments that make up your days, that make up your weeks, that make up your years, that make up your life.

Our days aren't guaranteed. Every single moment you live can teach you something new and fresh. Overcome your blindness. Everything is fascinating. Replace your fear of the unknown with curiosity. Challenge your stereotypes. Say hello to someone that you might see on a day to day basis but usually avoid contact with.

I know that I get caught up in the details and hectic scheduling that consumes most of my life, but I don't take a single moment for granted. I am thankful for the enormous gifts life has given to me.

Life has my attention.

Undivided.

Promises I Made My Father

2009-06-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that my parents and I don't have the best relationship, but I would never try to doubt the importance of parenthood. Parents are your first teachers. They teach you about our conscience, and constantly reassure us that they are our safe harbor. Lessons I've learned from my mother and father have been a part of everything I've done in life thus far.

I'll always remember never be too ashamed or too embarrassed to tell you anything. I'll always remember what poison ivy looks like, and thank you for avoiding it these past eighteen years. I'll always remember that my words and my thoughts are more powerful than any fist ever clenched, and will continue to use them to fight my battles for years to come. I'll always remember how to make the best peanut butter cookies in town. I'll always know the paths we road our bikes down everyday after school like the back of my hand.

I'll always remember the values you passed down upon me and do my best to make you proud with the decisions I make on a daily basis. I hope someday, both of you know more about who I am and what I stand for, and can look at me with the same proud eyes I like to view the world in.

Happy Fathers Day.

Fast times at Huron High

2009-06-09T22:39:00.000-07:00

This past sunday I headed through the double doors I used to dread every Monday-Friday morning for four years to attend Kristen's graduation ceremony. This also marked the one year anniversary of my own high school graduation, which still seems scary and bizarre.

Besides celebrating Kristen's victories, it made me realize how much I've learned and how much I've grown in the past year. My first year of college was a whirlwind, but comparing my high school self to my current state of being, the difference is uncanny. I've never really lived life with any kind of direction. I've always been perfectly content going wherever the wind decided to blow me. Fast forward to spring of 2009, and my first year of college is finished, the head on my shoulders screwed on a little tighter, and I have a little more direction towards just where I want to go in life.

Witnessing Kristen and the rest of her graduating class throwing their caps in the air, hugging each other and celebrating whatever comes next in their journey was moving now that I can fully understand the changes one goes through post graduation.

Dear Poopy,
High school was interesting for the both of us, to say the least. The inner and outer transformations we both made through those four years, that seemed like forever, is unbelievable.

I wish I had more opportunities to thank you for all that you've done for me. The past three years, you've loved me when I couldn't love myself. You're the only one who has seen all of me and stayed anyways. You're the cheese to my macaroni. You are the jelly to my peanut butter. You mean the universe to me, and I can't wait to see where life takes you.

With Love,
Chad Wuzzy

Life is interesting. Love is surprising. Everything is wonderful.

Why I'm A Vegetarian

2009-06-06T23:28:00.000-07:00

Eight months ago I made the decision to become a vegetarian. This decision turned out to be one of the best I have ever made.

People often ask me the reasoning behind why I decided to quit eating meat. To put it simply, being a pacifist and equal rights activist, I don't exactly agree with slaughtering a living creature to satisfy my taste buds. I can't live my life guilt free while knowing I'm directly responsible for constant mistreatment, murder, and cruelty inflicted on millions of innocent beings daily. It all started about ten years ago on Thanksgiving. It was the first time my mom was hosting dinner at our house and was trying to make me enthusiastic about helping her with the small details. For some reason, she thought giving the turkey a name would make it more relatable, so she told me we were going to put "Tom the Turkey" in the oven.

My mom told me that my immediate reaction was "Tom? You mean he has a name?" and that I automatically started asking if he had friends or a family. I refused to help with Thanksgiving dinner, and went through a two year phase of asking my parents exactly where every food they fed me came from. My dad says that the phase got so bad that they told me hot dogs grew from the ground so I wouldn't feel guilty eating them.

But there are many other factors that went into my decision of giving up meat. Personally, I don't feel comfortable stuffing this processed garbage into my body anymore. Meat farms pump steroids and countless chemicals into their animals before they're slaughtered, and that's before it's processed. I can only imagine what's done to the meat before it's packaged and sent to retailers. And I often imagine what our society would do if we had to hunt and gather our own resources. I would much rather eat produce from a garden than slaughter a cow for my dinner, but I'm only speaking on my own behalf.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
1. Do you ever crave meat?
No. If it were difficult for me to live life without meat, I wouldn't.

2. Do you ever cheat?
No, unless you count accidentally swallowing bugs. Giving up meat wasn't me trying to quit an addiction, it was making a lifestyle change to better my health and well-being.

3. If you don't eat meat, what DO you eat?
A lot of people have this pre-concieved idea that vegetarians base their meals around salad and vegetables, but in today's market there are so many alternatives to chose from. From tofu to veggie burgers, you can create almost any meal a meat eater would want without sacrificing any innocent creatures in the process.

At the end of the day, cows and pigs are no different from dogs or cats. If you can imagine killing one of your pets for a meal and still manage to grill a hamburger every night for dinner, then more power to you, but hopefully you understand that these are creatures who feel the pain and mistreatment inflicted on them just to appease our insatiable appetites. This is nothing short of murder, and unless you can sleep at knowing you're responsible for such a crime, maybe you should consider changing your lifestyle. Stay fresh.

Obama proclaims June as LGBT Pride Month

2009-06-03T10:47:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that 2009 has been a bumpy road for the LGBT community. We might be down, but we're most certainly not out. (No pun intended.)

President Obama issued a statement June 1st, proclaiming that June is the official Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month. In this statement, the White House addresses the great and lasting contributions our community make to the fabric of the American society. The letter ends with a reminder of just why I voted for Mr. Barack Obama. "I call upon the people of the United States to turn back discrimination and prejudice everywhere it exists."

Read the press release in it's entirety here.

I know that giving our community it's own month isn't going to appease our hunger for equal rights, but it's a start. Revolutions don't occur in a day. Sometimes living in a small town can make you feel like a lone soldier. I know at times I look around at my community and feel so hopeless because it feels as though I'm the only one fighting this war. This is just one of the many reminders that we are not alone in this battle. Keep your chin up. Live abundantly.

Wheel of Fortune

2009-05-31T22:08:00.000-07:00

I know I've mentioned it in the past, but I'm extremely interested in astrology, faux prophecies, and things of that nature. Before anyone jumps down my back for writing this, I comprehend fully how silly and unrealistic fortune cookies are, but nevertheless I think it's fun reading your fortune and looking for examples of how a particular fortune could be applied to your day to day life. I think horoscopes, fortunes, and things of that nature are as real as you want them to be. You can find truth in anything you read, it all depends on your interpretation.

But this fortune, in particular, sparked my attention. "Remember three months from this date! Your lucky star is shining." Usually, the fortunes are really vague but this one was really specific. I opened it on May 30th, so apparently on the 30th of August, something good is going to happen to me. I'm not sure where or what I'll spend this day doing, but hopefully this fortune doesn't let me down.

Maybe if this summer continues to be as fabulous as it's been thus far, it'll just be the day I realize how blessed I really am.

Defining; Forgiveness

2009-05-30T14:15:00.000-07:00

How many times have you gotten in an argument with someone, and then said that you were sorry without really meaning it? Without actually answering that question, think about the relationship you have with the people who you are giving these false apologies to. Chances are the foundations of these relationships are rather weak and you spend a lot of time walking on egg shells with this people. If anything, I hope you acknowledge how ridiculous of a concept this is. We all know that life is short. Why should you spend a second of it walking on your tip toes when you could be running at full speed?

Personally, I think that we wrongly associate the ability to forgive with strength. I disagree with that generalization completely. Don't get me wrong, forgiveness is beautiful. And I give many kudos to the man (or woman) who can swallow their pride and put their trust in someone who continues to disappoint them. But realistically, I don't want to spend a minute of my life backtracking my words or actions to tranquilize the bitter truth that maybe these particular two people don't piece together quite as well as they used to.

I'm not promoting grudges or saying that trusting people is a bad thing. But when I was very young I learned an important lesson that we tend to forget; if you put your hand in fire, it will burn you. Usually it takes you a few times to fully grasp the concept, but eventually you're going to think twice about just where you go about sticking your hands.

Just a thought. Stay fresh!

Summer globetrotting

2009-05-28T21:48:00.000-07:00

Somehow, even though the temperature is still sitting pretty at 82 degrees, the sun is nowhere to be found today. He seems to be hiding behind the mucky grey clouds that are currently occupying a majority of the sky. That's quite alright, though. You can turn off the sun, but I'm still going to shine.

I've been out of class for a few weeks now, and most of my days have been filled with a lot of nothing in particular. That's how I like my days spent, though. My favorite part about summer is waking up in the morning knowing there's a new adventure waiting for me right outside my doorstep. It's summer when my inner-tourist kicks in and I feel the need to take two years off to just see the world and the glories it has to offer. If I can manage to be amazed at what beauty Ohio has presented me with, I can only imagine what else I could possibly encounter.

One of my favorite things to do in the summer is getting a few friends together in a car at night with a good mix CD and getting ourselves hopelessly lost. There's something so beautiful about not knowing or caring where you are, and thriving off of each other; rolling down the windows and singing at the top of our lungs while the street lights ignite the dark unfamiliar roads. You'll never feel so free.

I hope everyone is well and having fun exploring the world beyond their four white walls. Stay fresh!

Self Exploration

2009-05-27T16:32:00.001-07:00

Sometimes it's necessary to shine a light on the darkest crevasses of your mind and explore the thoughts you tend to shove where they're nearly impossible to find. As a person I try to spend most of my days brand new. I try to accept and understand that we are all human and we all make mistakes.

But since I acknowledge this, I must also acknowledge that I, too, am human and I, too, make mistakes. I speak out a lot against judgement, and spend a lot of time promoting positivity and peace. But there are days I don't feel positive or peaceful. There are days I look in the mirror and feel like hiding away for weeks. There are moments I get so mad I feel like my anger could move mountains. There are times I get so discouraged I could drown in my own self-pity. It's something everyone goes through, and it has nothing to do with insecurity. I don't believe there's a person in this world who's completely comfortable with themselves. Why should you be? There are so many possibilities when trying to figure out who you are, yet there are so few traits that are accepted by mass society.

Thankfully, along with my acknowledgement of being human, I acknowledge that this is a healthy struggle. Don't focus on your breakdown; focus on how much strength it takes to pick yourself back up, and make sure you acknowledge that you have all this strength and more. Then, once your smile is re-ignited, it'll shine twenty watts brighter.

We have a habit of defining the world, instead of letting the world define itself. We apply judgements and labels to almost everything; every person, and every situation. Rather than look at the endless qualities we have in common with others, we look at the minor things that make us different.

Am I so different from you?

Labeling restricts our potentiality, our experiences; it creates turbulence. Silence your mind. Judge nothing that occurs. Harmony connects the entire universe. We are the sea, the earth, the sky.

We are one.

Stay fresh.

Keane & Mat Kearney - Perfect Symmetry 2009

2009-05-26T18:26:00.000-07:00

Nothing beats a good road trip filled with twists, turns, surprise carnivals, and the occasional autograph from Mat Kearney. I just got back from one of the best shows I've ever been to, Keane's Perfect Symmetry 2009 Tour with opening acts Mat Kearney and the Helio Sequence.

My good friend Lizzie and I are both huge Keane fans, but the real reason I decided to go to the show was to experience the glorious Mat Kearney with my own two eyes. The show was at the Tower City Amphitheater in Cleveland, and surprisingly, in the middle of some random barbeque rib festival. I'd probably laugh in your face if you told me I'd be caught dead at a festival dedicated to selfishly slaughtering mass amounts of innocent pigs. I'm sure the casual meat lovers appreciated Lizzie and I chanting "meat is murder" while walking down the boardwalk.

The show itself was flawless. Keane picked two amazing opening acts. I've recently fallen completely in love with Mat Kearney. According to my Last.FM account, I've played him 154 times in the past two weeks. If you're having trouble recalling who Mat Kearney is, try watching "Nothing Left to Lose" or "Undeniable." I've always liked his music, but it wasn't until the morning I discovered "Closer to Love" that I fell head over heels. His new album "City of Black and White" is mind blowing. I have a weakness for songs that evoke a lot of emotion from the listener, and each and every song on the album tears at a heart string or two.

His set was amazing, as expected. He joked with the crowd that he was surprised when he heard that a band like Keane could headline a barbeque rib festival. He performed around 8 songs before he wished us a good weekend and left the stage.

But I wasn't satisfied. I needed more. So my stealthy self decided to ~~stalk~~ wait for Mat at the side of the stage, and like clockwork he showed up after standing around awkwardly for a few minutes. He shook my hand, signed my CD, and held a conversation with me for a good five minutes. Then he asked me if he'd see me when he was headlining in Cleveland later on this year, and I replied with a suggestive "front row" in a wink-wink-nudge-nudge kind of voice. Realistically he probably thinks I'm a twat, but I've been floating on my Kearney cloud ever since.

After my amazing experience with Mr. Kearney, I was doubtful that Keane could possibly top it. However, they delivered one hell of a show. I'll admit that I've always been a casual Keane fan, and that if it weren't for Mat I probably wouldn't have gone to the show. However, I was so impressed with them and "Hopes and Fears" hasn't left repeat since my return from the show. Possibly my favorite part of Keane's setlist was a complete surprise. My favorite Gwen Stefani song has always been "Early Winter," and I learned that Keane's pianist wrote it for her. They played the original version they submitted to Gwen's team and it's completely mindblowing.

The show was incredible. I had an amazing time getting lost in downtown Cleveland with Lizzie and finding a new friend in Mat Kearney. You can view all my photos from the show at Flickr.

Defining; Insanity

2009-05-20T23:09:00.000-07:00

By defenition, I'm insane. Are you?

According to my good friends over at Webster, someone who is insane is defined by being behavior that might be "very foolish," "wild," "risk-taking," and "immoderate."

This is a prime example of a word thrown at undeserving people to scare them into acting a certain way which might appear to be more "desirable" than how they initially act. Don't let anyone clip your wings like that. With it's six and a half billion people, the world offers a vast variety of human shapes and colors.

The words "normal" and "insane" mean absolutely nothing to me.

Most studies predict that the world's population will exceed 10 billion by 2050; that's more than 75 million annually. With that many people inhabiting the world, how can these terms realistically exist?

Don't fall into this trap. The holocaust happened to people like us. Let no one define your standard of living for you.

Commandments

2009-05-16T13:20:00.000-07:00

The ten commandments are a list of religious and moral imperatives that dictate the lifestyles of most Christians. With every passing day, I discover a little bit more of life that I didn't know existed the day before. I don't really like associating myself with any one religion, and base most of my decisions from impulses, experiences, and instinct. However, I do have some guidelines, or "commandments" I try to live by.

Thou shall live abundantly.
People who live abundantly tend to get a bad rep for being selfish. However, abundance doesn't always have to be associated with wealth. By definition, an abundance is an "overflowing fullness." I think it's important to live abundantly in respect to one's happiness. When it comes to doing things that make you happy, don't hesitate. Live freely and righteously.

Thou shall love thy neighbor.
As a whole, the human race is too focused on labels. We're too focused on what's normal and who we should and shouldn't love. Accept and appreciate people for what they are. Don't dwell on what they are not.

Thou shall check thyself before thou wreck thyself.
Sometimes while you're busy living life, your plate gets a little full. When this occurs, people tend to act erratically and make decisions they wouldn't given any other circumstance. Don't count on someone else to tell you when you're out of line. "The minute I take my eye off what I’m doing to check out the bitch next to me, I’m going to slow myself down." - Lady Gaga

Thou shall explore beyond thy back yard.
I'm a firm believer that we must go beyond textbooks to fully experience the glories our world has to offer. Janelle Monáe says, “It’s a big universe, to stay in one tiny place is doing a disservice to yourself.” Sometimes it's not about where you're going, but how you get there. Never get too comfortable in one seat when there are thousands of others you've yet to sit in.

Thou shall stay fresh.
This is meant to be taken techincally and figuratively. Figuratively because in order to live life to it's fullest potential, one must have a fresh mentality. A crisp mind and a positive attitude help achieve a "fresh" lifestyle. And it's to be taken technically because nobody likes a smelly neighbor. Stay fresh; free your mind and change your underwear.

I firmly believe that it's important for our society to start thinking more independently. Don't accept things at face value. Do your own research and draw your own conclusions. Don't let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn't go about living your life. Only then will we begin living life to it's fullest potential.